Yesterday started off great. We went to Emily's in the morning to pick up some things she brought from Mom and Dad's house... a 30% Kohl's coupon, which we'll go shopping with today to buy Lila summer clothes... money for the microwave... chicken pajamas for Lila, who likes to say "bawk bawk."
Lila loves shoes now, by the way. Particularly her new pink sandals. Yesterday morning while she was still in her footie pajamas, she was sitting on the floor, trying to put them on herself. It was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen her do. She would grab her foot with one of her hands, the sandal with the other, and then try to shove her foot in. She had the sandal balanced on her foot for a little bit. So I went to take off her pajamas so that I could get her dressed and put the sandals on, but she had a fit, so I just put her sandals on over her pajamas, so funny. She happily walked around in them. And when I take them off of her, she wants them right back on. When she's wearing them and I ask her where her toes are, she bends down and points to them. And, what's funnier: this morning we were looking at a book that has pictures of objects in them. One of the pictures is of a pair of red shoes. She picked up her foot and tried to put them into the picture of the shoe!!! LOL. It was so funny. She's learning so fast.
Jake stopped by Emily's for lunch, picked up some food for us. Lila seems to really like chicken nuggets, which is great, and she ate more than usual. She also tried some beef. Then we headed downtown for a doctor's appointment. Lila fell asleep on the way home. When we got home, I stupidly took her out of the car seat, hoping that she'd stay asleep and go to sleep in bed because I wanted to lay down too, but nope. So she only napped for like 15 minutes. I felt bad.
We spent the afternoon playing and relaxing. I tickled her a lot, which is fun for both of us. Then I took her for a walk in the neighborhood while talking to Mike on the phone. Last night he and Casandra met at the Detroit temple. She told him that on Saturday it became really clear to her that she wants/needs to marry Mike... but she's still planning on going to Toronto. They're spending Friday-Monday together, and are excited for that. They haven't talked dates at all really, and haven't really talked about getting engaged yet. She wants to meet Mike's parents first, so probably sometime after the 4th.
We Skyped with my parents while waiting for Jake to get home from work. He got home about 5:40, a little too late for my taste, especially since I knew Lila would be going to bed early. We had a quick dinner (leftovers) that Lila halfheartedly tried to eat. Jake let her walk around on the counter and play with the cupboards, so now that's her favorite thing to do. Thanks Jake! :) She had a meltdown pretty quick after that so we rushed her off to bed and I think she was asleep at around 6:15.
Jake and I got to watch the Netflix movie we've had for over a month, Crash. Pretty crazy movie. It was nice that she went to bed so early, so that we could have time together before bed that didn't go too late. I was feeling pretty blah and tired by the time the movie was over, so we went up to get ready for bed at around 9:00 I think. Lila spent the next hour or so freaking out. I don't know what her deal was, but she's been doing this more lately, when she's tired. She kept farting a lot so I think she had bad gas or something... which is kind of funny, but the screaming and crying was pretty ridiculous. I laid there for a while, just praying to know what to do to help my daughter. I was feeling worn out and feeling like she needs me way too much, is too dependent on me for sleep and being comforted. I wondered if I'm just doing the things I'm doing (nursing her before bed, etc) because it's the easier thing to do, or if it's really because I feel prompted by the Spirit to do these things for her, and that this is what she, in particular, needs from me. So I prayed in my mind to just know what I needed to do to help her, for direction, for the Spirit to speak to me. I didn't expect anything right away, I thought the answers would come as I studied throughout this week. But, all of a sudden, my fuzzy, foggy mind cleared and I had these very clear thoughts come to me: Someday, Lila will be one of your best friends. This bond you are building is eternal. Do everything that you can to build it and strengthen it. This little toddler isn't who Lila really is... her spirit is who she really is. Try to see her spirit when you look at her. Remember that this screaming, crying childhood is temporary, but the relationship you have with her is forever.
Wow. It was powerful. I haven't had clarity like that about our relationship--my role as her mother--in a long time, and it is just what I needed. I've been feeling really vague lately about my relationship with her... because she's growing and changing so much. She used to just be this little infant that I would care for, but now she's turning into a little girl with different needs than before. I'm very grateful for the inspiration I received last night and I know that it came from Heavenly Father. I will keep on keepin' on.
Also, I love my husband.
Beautiful post, Rudi. LOL about the shoes, especially trying to put on the book ones. So funny. WOW for C & M! About Jake letting her walk on the counters...I know! Husbands don't think of things like that in terms of "If you do it once, they're going to remember and want to do it forever, every time." Exactly the reason Moms think twice before starting 1, 2, 3 swing when holding hands, or other fun traditions. :) Which is why Dads are more fun than Moms.
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