Perspective

Just spent some time reading my journal entries from the beginning of the year, when we were buying the house, moving in, finding out we were pregnant, Lila was teething and crazy, and I was so exhausted.  What a crazy time in our lives.  I think everything going on at the beginning of my pregnancy kind of gave me a sour taste about the whole thing.  But now, with more experience, time, and a different perspective, I'm feeling a lot better about everything.  I'm getting used to having a toddler with mood swings, realize that tantrums are necessary, Lila is more independent than she was at the beginning, and I'm more comfortable being a mom and am a little more relaxed than I used to be.  I had so many worries, and now I see that those worries were silly... and that means that most of the worries I have right now about what it will be like having 2 kids are silly.  We push through the hard times and they get better.  Most of the time, things are great.  But I will surely have a few rough and awful months when the baby comes... especially when Lila's getting her last set of molars (she's an awful teether, it drags on for a month), but we'll get through it alive and life will be good again. :)  It's been good for me to see how much we've changed and accomplished just since moving into the house.  And I realized how much work having this house has actually been!  It's been totally worth it, but we've poured so much work, energy, time, and money into making it our home.  It does feel like ours, and there's still a lot we'd like to do, but we've been able to accomplish a lot since moving in.  We need to give ourselves credit for that and enjoy the work we've done.  Because now, for a season, we'll have to put a lot (most) of our projects on the back burner and focus on our little ones.  And that's perfectly fine.

So yes, I'm starting to feel a lot better, calmer, and more confident about having another child.  I'm just accepting that life will be kind of crazy, but we'll get through it and have a lot of fun in the meantime.  Hard work and trials are blessings from Heavenly Father, opportunities to grow into better people.

I gave the VT message this month to the sisters on our route, and I chose to speak on the talk by Elder Carl B. Cook.  This is my favorite quote from his talk --

Experience has taught me that if we...  exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy. We will come to realize that most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance—and if it is, the Lord will help us. But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow His direction.

I like that: "most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance--and if it is, the Lord will help us."  He'll even help us with the things that aren't exactly of eternal significance.  Just don't need to worry.