Another awesome talk on defending the family:
Defending the Family in a Troubled World, June 2011 Ensign. Elder Bruce D. Porter of the Seventy.
Read it!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Weekend
Lila's napping and I'm eating lunch. It's nice to have quiet in the afternoon. Last night before bed I prayed that Lila's sleeping would get better... that she wouldn't be awake for so long in the night, that she'd start sleeping in longer stretches again, etc. I also prayed that the transition from one to two babies won't be as horrible as I'm imagining it will be and that we'll get through it by relying on each other and on Him.
Well, last night was a lot better than it has been. She woke up a few times, but fell back asleep easily. And she woke up at 7:15, which is way better than 5 or 6 or earlier. Lately she's been going to bed at 9:30 or 10, so I knew that she'd go back down for at least an hour or two after Jake left for work, and she did. She slept (and so did I!) from 8-10:20. It felt amazing. Jake likes to see her before he goes to work, so it was perfect timing. I don't know if it'll continue like this, but I would sure love it if it did. Last night before bed we all took a family walk, and let Lila walk and push the stroller for most of that walk to tire her out. Maybe that worked! She absolutely did not want us to help her push that stroller either, and would tell us "no" when we tried. Funny girl. We wonder what she'll be like when she's older. :)
Anyway, our weekend was good. Did the farmer's market and Meijer on Saturday morning. Mike and Emily came over that night. Actually Emily went to Lansing for a fireside that started at 7. Sister Barbara Thompson (one of the counselors in the general RS presidency) and a member of the Primary general presidency spoke. Mike came over to talk about Cassandra. Things aren't going as planned... in early August she told him to buy her a ring, and since then, she's become confused (again) and doesn't know what she wants now. It's been a rough weekend for Mike. They talked about it last night. He's going to see where things are at the end of the week, and if she's still undecided, they'll probably break up, for now anyway. Crazy. It's brought up a lot of conversations about agency... she's confused about receiving revelation about it vs. making her own decisions.
I was dreading church again on Sunday morning. It's just so hard to get through and 9:00 seems way too early. Actually, it's only as we're getting ready and on the way there that I'm a little grumpy, but when we get there it's fine. But, Jake was awesome and packed me a turkey sandwich, and that helped a lot. Also, second and third hours were practice for the Primary program, so I got to sit and watch, mostly. Lila did not want to be in Nursery. Jake left her in there for like 15 minutes and she cried the whole time. Sacrament meeting was good. It's fun to snuggle and play with Lila. She made it through the whole meeting eating snacks and coloring.
We all got naps after church yesterday, which also helped. Jake had a stake disciplinary council from 4-7, but Emily came back after she was done with church, so I didn't have to be alone. She actually spent Saturday night here. We made potato soup for dinner, and Lila loved it! I've been trying to do better with dinners lately. Now that I have a child who actually likes to eat, I feel much more motivated to have better dinners and food available. I can also see why people start buying in bulk once they have children... we go through a lot more food, even though she's only a toddler still. We spent most of that time playing outside with Brody and Toby.
After we put Lila to bed, Jake and I sat down and planned out what we're going to talk about at our ward's Youth Standard's Night on Wednesday night. We were asked to talk briefly about dating and sexual purity. It will be difficult to be brief, but I think we'll do great. We're going to talk about "our story," which will at least capture the attention of the Young Women. And then I'm going to briefly discuss why we need to stay sexually pure (based on Elder Holland's talk "Personal Purity") and Jake is going to talk about pornography. There will also be a panel discussion where the youth can ask questions. Should be fun. For people like Jake and I--who love to give advice and talk about ourselves--it will be fun. :)
Cute things from this weekend:
Jake almost fell off the bed last night after we prayed. He went to lay down and said, "Woah!" as he almost rolled off. It was funny.
He wanted to practice putting Lila's hair in pigtails this weekend. Adorable. Love him.
Well, last night was a lot better than it has been. She woke up a few times, but fell back asleep easily. And she woke up at 7:15, which is way better than 5 or 6 or earlier. Lately she's been going to bed at 9:30 or 10, so I knew that she'd go back down for at least an hour or two after Jake left for work, and she did. She slept (and so did I!) from 8-10:20. It felt amazing. Jake likes to see her before he goes to work, so it was perfect timing. I don't know if it'll continue like this, but I would sure love it if it did. Last night before bed we all took a family walk, and let Lila walk and push the stroller for most of that walk to tire her out. Maybe that worked! She absolutely did not want us to help her push that stroller either, and would tell us "no" when we tried. Funny girl. We wonder what she'll be like when she's older. :)
Anyway, our weekend was good. Did the farmer's market and Meijer on Saturday morning. Mike and Emily came over that night. Actually Emily went to Lansing for a fireside that started at 7. Sister Barbara Thompson (one of the counselors in the general RS presidency) and a member of the Primary general presidency spoke. Mike came over to talk about Cassandra. Things aren't going as planned... in early August she told him to buy her a ring, and since then, she's become confused (again) and doesn't know what she wants now. It's been a rough weekend for Mike. They talked about it last night. He's going to see where things are at the end of the week, and if she's still undecided, they'll probably break up, for now anyway. Crazy. It's brought up a lot of conversations about agency... she's confused about receiving revelation about it vs. making her own decisions.
I was dreading church again on Sunday morning. It's just so hard to get through and 9:00 seems way too early. Actually, it's only as we're getting ready and on the way there that I'm a little grumpy, but when we get there it's fine. But, Jake was awesome and packed me a turkey sandwich, and that helped a lot. Also, second and third hours were practice for the Primary program, so I got to sit and watch, mostly. Lila did not want to be in Nursery. Jake left her in there for like 15 minutes and she cried the whole time. Sacrament meeting was good. It's fun to snuggle and play with Lila. She made it through the whole meeting eating snacks and coloring.
We all got naps after church yesterday, which also helped. Jake had a stake disciplinary council from 4-7, but Emily came back after she was done with church, so I didn't have to be alone. She actually spent Saturday night here. We made potato soup for dinner, and Lila loved it! I've been trying to do better with dinners lately. Now that I have a child who actually likes to eat, I feel much more motivated to have better dinners and food available. I can also see why people start buying in bulk once they have children... we go through a lot more food, even though she's only a toddler still. We spent most of that time playing outside with Brody and Toby.
After we put Lila to bed, Jake and I sat down and planned out what we're going to talk about at our ward's Youth Standard's Night on Wednesday night. We were asked to talk briefly about dating and sexual purity. It will be difficult to be brief, but I think we'll do great. We're going to talk about "our story," which will at least capture the attention of the Young Women. And then I'm going to briefly discuss why we need to stay sexually pure (based on Elder Holland's talk "Personal Purity") and Jake is going to talk about pornography. There will also be a panel discussion where the youth can ask questions. Should be fun. For people like Jake and I--who love to give advice and talk about ourselves--it will be fun. :)
Cute things from this weekend:
Jake almost fell off the bed last night after we prayed. He went to lay down and said, "Woah!" as he almost rolled off. It was funny.
He wanted to practice putting Lila's hair in pigtails this weekend. Adorable. Love him.
Friday, September 9, 2011
24w 1d - Appointment
Had a midwife appointment this morning. We were late. Had to wake Lila up at almost 9 because she was still sleeping. Because she was up from 6-7:30. She was subsequently tired and emotional during my appointment, but it wasn't terrible. She just cried and didn't want me to let her down, so I held her the whole time. Heard the heartbeat and my fundal height was "perfect." I weighed 122. When I was this far along with Lila, I weighed 130, so I'm still dong pretty well. I think the slower weight gain is making a huge difference in how I feel. So I suspect that I won't be nearly as big at the end... well, the rest of my body... my tummy is huge already, so I think my tummy will be quite large at the end.
He's definitely starting to kick and move around harder. I still can't decipher body parts, but I think that he's head down, because I'm feeling kicks higher up now. Lots of punching low down too. But it's not constant and my belly isn't rolling around yet. I can see movements from the outside now, which is fun.
I'm feeling really good. I'm tired, but that's because Lila's been up a lot at night lately. I think it's her teeth still. We have a few good days and then a few bad days. But if it wasn't for Lila, I think I'd be feeling AWESOME. I think our bed (a tempurpedic) is sooo comfortable and I'm not sore at all. Hopefully that continues!
Time to change a poopy diaper.
He's definitely starting to kick and move around harder. I still can't decipher body parts, but I think that he's head down, because I'm feeling kicks higher up now. Lots of punching low down too. But it's not constant and my belly isn't rolling around yet. I can see movements from the outside now, which is fun.
I'm feeling really good. I'm tired, but that's because Lila's been up a lot at night lately. I think it's her teeth still. We have a few good days and then a few bad days. But if it wasn't for Lila, I think I'd be feeling AWESOME. I think our bed (a tempurpedic) is sooo comfortable and I'm not sore at all. Hopefully that continues!
Time to change a poopy diaper.
Some Gayan Family History
Written by Lori, Jake's mom. Kezia is Jake's cousin.
Hi Kezia,
OK, your great great grandparents (Jacob Gayan and Sussanna Krinick) on Grandpa Gayan's side were both from Hungary so that would make your great Grandpa Leo Raymond Gayan 100% Hungarian. He married your great grandmother Helen Marshalek who was 100% Polish. Her parents were Andrew Marshalek and Kunagunda Korona. So that makes your grandpa 1/2 hungarian and 1/2 polish.
Your great great great grandparents Dominico Finco and Maria Carli were both from Italy. Which makes your great great grandpa (Benjamin Pious Finco) 100% Italian. He married your great great grandmother (Helen Bongers) who was 100% German, from the information I have available. Her dad was Weilhelm Bongers, mom yet unknown. That makes your great grandpa (Joseph Finco) 50% German, 50% Italian. He married your great grandma (Ailie Elizabeth Erickson) who was 100% Finnish. Her dad was Henry Erickson and mom was Anna Sophia Bertel, making your grandma Gayan 25% German, 25% Italian and 50% Finnish.
So.....your dad and his sisters (your aunts) are 1/4 hungarian, 1/4
polish, 1/8 German 1/8 Italian and 1/4 Finnish.
Glad I went through this exercise. I never stopped to figure this out.
P.S.
I remember being in the Italian Group in Ironwood with my mom. It was
a group that sang and danced to Italian songs.
There was another group that I played the accordion in. It was the
equivalent of the Tamburitzans. The Yugoslav's. Back to our
Hungarian side.
Making pierogi's was from our Polish heritage.
I thought we were more italian.....you know how we love Italian food, Aziago cheese, etc. Did you know that our ancestors were from Aziago, Italy and they still make cheese over there?
Finnish speaks for itself. Could be why we love to sauna!
Lutefisk was a fish dish that was from our Finnish side. My mom's
family would get together and eat it annually.
That's all I can think of now. If anyone has any other ethnic memories, please pass them on to all of us.
Love you.
Aunt Lori
From Aunt Joyce:
Confusion - you know, Grandma Finco always insisted (vehemently) that she was Swedish and NOT Finnish! She said that some people called them Swede-Finns because of the border area she was born, but she would actually get angry if there was any Finnish inference. That's all I know about that. Dad, on the other hand, insisted he was Polish and Slovac. Why do you think there was confusion about this? Or does it come down to my perpetual question - if I was born in China, would I be Chinese? Guess I don't understand all of that and when everything originated. I suppose at one time, people weren't mobile, so it wasn't like the grandparents were born in France, therefore being French, but their kids were born in Italy, therefore being Italian. Can you shed some light on this for me? Isn't it possible that Grandma Erickson-Finco's ancestors were Swedish, but maybe she was born in Finland? Or have you traced this back further and found only the Finnish heritage on her side?
--Joyce
Hi Kezia,
OK, your great great grandparents (Jacob Gayan and Sussanna Krinick) on Grandpa Gayan's side were both from Hungary so that would make your great Grandpa Leo Raymond Gayan 100% Hungarian. He married your great grandmother Helen Marshalek who was 100% Polish. Her parents were Andrew Marshalek and Kunagunda Korona. So that makes your grandpa 1/2 hungarian and 1/2 polish.
Your great great great grandparents Dominico Finco and Maria Carli were both from Italy. Which makes your great great grandpa (Benjamin Pious Finco) 100% Italian. He married your great great grandmother (Helen Bongers) who was 100% German, from the information I have available. Her dad was Weilhelm Bongers, mom yet unknown. That makes your great grandpa (Joseph Finco) 50% German, 50% Italian. He married your great grandma (Ailie Elizabeth Erickson) who was 100% Finnish. Her dad was Henry Erickson and mom was Anna Sophia Bertel, making your grandma Gayan 25% German, 25% Italian and 50% Finnish.
So.....your dad and his sisters (your aunts) are 1/4 hungarian, 1/4
polish, 1/8 German 1/8 Italian and 1/4 Finnish.
Glad I went through this exercise. I never stopped to figure this out.
P.S.
I remember being in the Italian Group in Ironwood with my mom. It was
a group that sang and danced to Italian songs.
There was another group that I played the accordion in. It was the
equivalent of the Tamburitzans. The Yugoslav's. Back to our
Hungarian side.
Making pierogi's was from our Polish heritage.
I thought we were more italian.....you know how we love Italian food, Aziago cheese, etc. Did you know that our ancestors were from Aziago, Italy and they still make cheese over there?
Finnish speaks for itself. Could be why we love to sauna!
Lutefisk was a fish dish that was from our Finnish side. My mom's
family would get together and eat it annually.
That's all I can think of now. If anyone has any other ethnic memories, please pass them on to all of us.
Love you.
Aunt Lori
From Aunt Joyce:
Confusion - you know, Grandma Finco always insisted (vehemently) that she was Swedish and NOT Finnish! She said that some people called them Swede-Finns because of the border area she was born, but she would actually get angry if there was any Finnish inference. That's all I know about that. Dad, on the other hand, insisted he was Polish and Slovac. Why do you think there was confusion about this? Or does it come down to my perpetual question - if I was born in China, would I be Chinese? Guess I don't understand all of that and when everything originated. I suppose at one time, people weren't mobile, so it wasn't like the grandparents were born in France, therefore being French, but their kids were born in Italy, therefore being Italian. Can you shed some light on this for me? Isn't it possible that Grandma Erickson-Finco's ancestors were Swedish, but maybe she was born in Finland? Or have you traced this back further and found only the Finnish heritage on her side?
--Joyce
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Our Week So Far
Lila is throwing dried beans all over the living room and laughing. Big mess. Cute girl. Oh well. Last night we babysat Brig Thompson and Ella Tensmeyer. Us three families are doing a babysitting swap, so two weeks every month, Jake and I will get to go on a date! Pretty cool. Neither Alicia or Holly went on a date last night--their husbands were busy--but it gave them some time off, so that's still nice. It wasn't bad at all. We spent most of the time playing outside with bikes and running around the backyard (the kids and Jake did, not me, that's for sure). Then we came inside for a snack and then they played with the box of beans. Brig was throwing them all over the place and having a blast, and the girls were sitting playing nicely and quietly. I thought, "This will be interesting... having a boy." And then Lila started throwing them, though not as far or violently, lol.
Ok, now we're in the basement. Lila's jumping on our little trampoline and watching a PBS show. We got all ready to go for a walk to see the "cows" (which are actually horses), and then I looked out the window and saw that it's raining. Bummer. Earlier this week, I took Lila for walks there and she walked up and down most of the trail. I did end up having to carry her most of the way back, but it was good exercise for the both of us, and consequently she took good naps. While we're walking on the trail, Lila goes on and on about cows and moo and flowers. She's a cute kid.
We've had a pretty laid back week. It's been kind of depressing I guess to go back to the old grind, not having visitors here. And the weather has suddenly gotten so much cooler. It's nice. It feels like fall! And that's fun. Sunday and Monday nights, we had a bon fire at Terie and Steve's house. Made s'mores and hot dogs and the kids got to play around. Sunday, Jake had mentioned that he served a 2 year mission in Taiwan, so on Monday Terie started asking us all about the church. So we talked about the restoration, the first vision, eternal families, etc. It was really good. She kept asking us if it was making us uncomfortable, and we're like, "Uhh, no. Mormons love talking about this stuff." She said that everything we said seemed to kind of line up or at least fit in with what she personally believed... she isn't a part of any religion right now, but things that she's said in the past make it clear that she is looking and that she believes strongly in God. So, we'll see where this goes. It's pretty neat, and we love having them as neighbors.
Oh, so Monday was Labor Day. It was nice having Jake home for an extra day. We had a lot planned, but didn't get to everything we'd wanted to. Jake did mow the lawn in the morning while I took Lila for a walk to see the horses. By the time Lila and I got back, he had finished the lawn, which is great. We love that lawn mower! Lila took a long nap (3+ hours), Jake and I bummed around instead of doing chores... then we went to Menards where it took him forever to pick out some lawn and garden items and where Lila was fascinated with the Halloween decorations... then to Pizza Hut to pick up a pizza.
Now it's 10:14 pm. Jake's at his meeting. Lila's sleeping. Emily just left for Battle Creek. It's been a pretty good day. Lila and I slept till 9 (but we were up from 5:30-7 or something), played in the house this morning since it was raining, went to Kohl's with Emily where we found Lila some REAL pants, not just leggings or sweatpants. I'm very excited about this. What's funny is that they're size 18mo. I tried putting her in the exact same pants this spring, size 2T, but her thighs were too chubby and the pants wouldn't fit over them. lol. But she's definitely slimming down. It's funny that she's wearing the size appropriate for her age... that hasn't happened since she was less than a month old!
We got home, made a quick dinner for Jake before he had to leave for his meeting. I'm bummed because he can't come to the midwife appointment tomorrow morning. Oh well. This is the first one he'll have ever missed! Took Lila outside to play and to go for a short walk after dinner because it wasn't raining. Emily gave her a bath (she loves giving Lila baths). We danced around with Lila, she likes to try to jump. Fed her some yogurt, and she actually ate it... because I mixed in a little powdered sugar to make it sweeter. She's so much fun right now. Always talking up a storm, always has something to say, and usually sounds very urgent and serious. She's goofy too though, loves to play with Daddy and loves being tickled. She's such a good girl. She got worried when I left the fitting room at Kohl's today, I left her with Nemmy. Em said she kept saying, "Mommy coming? Mommy coming?"
Yesterday morning I went to Tyler and Desiree's to pick up baby boy clothes. I got a TON of stuff--a whole garbage bag full of clothes and a few blankets. I have a ton of 0-3 month stuff... Lila grew out of that size very quickly, I think by the time she was a month old, so we'll see how long Jared is in it. And I got a bunch of 3-6 month too, so I won't have to buy very much for a while. And I don't want to buy too much in advance, because I don't know what size he'll be at what time of year. But, this is a big help. She even gave me the baby swing, Kari's old one, that Lila used when she was a baby. After that we got to have lunch with Jake, which was nice.
Anyway. I guess that's all. Things are going well. Just tired lately and really looking forward to the weekend.
Ok, now we're in the basement. Lila's jumping on our little trampoline and watching a PBS show. We got all ready to go for a walk to see the "cows" (which are actually horses), and then I looked out the window and saw that it's raining. Bummer. Earlier this week, I took Lila for walks there and she walked up and down most of the trail. I did end up having to carry her most of the way back, but it was good exercise for the both of us, and consequently she took good naps. While we're walking on the trail, Lila goes on and on about cows and moo and flowers. She's a cute kid.
We've had a pretty laid back week. It's been kind of depressing I guess to go back to the old grind, not having visitors here. And the weather has suddenly gotten so much cooler. It's nice. It feels like fall! And that's fun. Sunday and Monday nights, we had a bon fire at Terie and Steve's house. Made s'mores and hot dogs and the kids got to play around. Sunday, Jake had mentioned that he served a 2 year mission in Taiwan, so on Monday Terie started asking us all about the church. So we talked about the restoration, the first vision, eternal families, etc. It was really good. She kept asking us if it was making us uncomfortable, and we're like, "Uhh, no. Mormons love talking about this stuff." She said that everything we said seemed to kind of line up or at least fit in with what she personally believed... she isn't a part of any religion right now, but things that she's said in the past make it clear that she is looking and that she believes strongly in God. So, we'll see where this goes. It's pretty neat, and we love having them as neighbors.
Oh, so Monday was Labor Day. It was nice having Jake home for an extra day. We had a lot planned, but didn't get to everything we'd wanted to. Jake did mow the lawn in the morning while I took Lila for a walk to see the horses. By the time Lila and I got back, he had finished the lawn, which is great. We love that lawn mower! Lila took a long nap (3+ hours), Jake and I bummed around instead of doing chores... then we went to Menards where it took him forever to pick out some lawn and garden items and where Lila was fascinated with the Halloween decorations... then to Pizza Hut to pick up a pizza.
Now it's 10:14 pm. Jake's at his meeting. Lila's sleeping. Emily just left for Battle Creek. It's been a pretty good day. Lila and I slept till 9 (but we were up from 5:30-7 or something), played in the house this morning since it was raining, went to Kohl's with Emily where we found Lila some REAL pants, not just leggings or sweatpants. I'm very excited about this. What's funny is that they're size 18mo. I tried putting her in the exact same pants this spring, size 2T, but her thighs were too chubby and the pants wouldn't fit over them. lol. But she's definitely slimming down. It's funny that she's wearing the size appropriate for her age... that hasn't happened since she was less than a month old!
We got home, made a quick dinner for Jake before he had to leave for his meeting. I'm bummed because he can't come to the midwife appointment tomorrow morning. Oh well. This is the first one he'll have ever missed! Took Lila outside to play and to go for a short walk after dinner because it wasn't raining. Emily gave her a bath (she loves giving Lila baths). We danced around with Lila, she likes to try to jump. Fed her some yogurt, and she actually ate it... because I mixed in a little powdered sugar to make it sweeter. She's so much fun right now. Always talking up a storm, always has something to say, and usually sounds very urgent and serious. She's goofy too though, loves to play with Daddy and loves being tickled. She's such a good girl. She got worried when I left the fitting room at Kohl's today, I left her with Nemmy. Em said she kept saying, "Mommy coming? Mommy coming?"
Yesterday morning I went to Tyler and Desiree's to pick up baby boy clothes. I got a TON of stuff--a whole garbage bag full of clothes and a few blankets. I have a ton of 0-3 month stuff... Lila grew out of that size very quickly, I think by the time she was a month old, so we'll see how long Jared is in it. And I got a bunch of 3-6 month too, so I won't have to buy very much for a while. And I don't want to buy too much in advance, because I don't know what size he'll be at what time of year. But, this is a big help. She even gave me the baby swing, Kari's old one, that Lila used when she was a baby. After that we got to have lunch with Jake, which was nice.
Anyway. I guess that's all. Things are going well. Just tired lately and really looking forward to the weekend.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
thoughts
Things are going well. Jake and I have been getting along really well lately. I think it's that thing that happens when I'm pregnant... I just really, really love him. Love being around him, love being near him, love most things about him. He's been really good to me too.
A book that is circulating the Betzold family right now is Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Jim (brother) suggested it to Mike. The title sounds pretty... sexist, but it's actually an awesome book and very in line with gospel principles. Dr. Laura really stands up against the downside of the feminist movement--women thinking that they don't need a husband or family, not having the right priorities, etc. One of my favorite quotes in the book so far (I only got less than half-way through before I gave it back to Mike, so that he could give it to Cassandra...) is this --
I've heard this many times... that women set the tone of the home, that they have a huge impact in the home, etc. But this just put it in a way that I've never really thought of before. And then it made me think that I must be doing something right. It's easy, after a while, to think that we have a happy marriage, home, and family because that's the way it naturally is. But really, it must be because I work hard at making it this way. And I'm not perfect, but I do try and my efforts are bearing fruit. The love, happiness, and peace that is in my home are gifts from God, but also a result of my work. I create these feelings and this atmosphere. And I'm so grateful to be a woman, wife, and mother. Reminds me of that talk President Uchtdorf gave a few years ago to the Relief Society --
A book that is circulating the Betzold family right now is Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Jim (brother) suggested it to Mike. The title sounds pretty... sexist, but it's actually an awesome book and very in line with gospel principles. Dr. Laura really stands up against the downside of the feminist movement--women thinking that they don't need a husband or family, not having the right priorities, etc. One of my favorite quotes in the book so far (I only got less than half-way through before I gave it back to Mike, so that he could give it to Cassandra...) is this --
"No, I probably will not be writing about the care and feeding of wives. Why? Because the truth is that when it comes to home and relationships, women rule. This is a book about how to rule wisely and lovingly. If a woman does not marry a sociopath or narcissist, then she's got her basic 'male package.' And your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife's hero, to be his wife's dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated. Men live to make their women happy.
"The cruelest thing a wife can do to a husband is to never be happy. And don't forget, being happy is more an attitude than a reality. When things are going bad, when there are problems and challenges, disappointments and disasters, it is obvious that happiness is going to be undermined. However, when one looks for that little peek-hole in the sky where the sun does shine through, then it is a lovely day.
"And it becomes a lovely day for everyone you touch."
I've heard this many times... that women set the tone of the home, that they have a huge impact in the home, etc. But this just put it in a way that I've never really thought of before. And then it made me think that I must be doing something right. It's easy, after a while, to think that we have a happy marriage, home, and family because that's the way it naturally is. But really, it must be because I work hard at making it this way. And I'm not perfect, but I do try and my efforts are bearing fruit. The love, happiness, and peace that is in my home are gifts from God, but also a result of my work. I create these feelings and this atmosphere. And I'm so grateful to be a woman, wife, and mother. Reminds me of that talk President Uchtdorf gave a few years ago to the Relief Society --
"Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
... To what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."
... To what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."
Monday, September 5, 2011
parents visit continued
Thursday was Emily's first day of dental hygiene school. In the afternoon, we drove to Battle Creek to visit her. We went to her house for a while, Mom helped her finish unpacking. Then we stopped at her school so that my mom could see it. Saw the dental clinic. Jake was home when we got back and we got to spend a bit of time with him before he left for his long meeting. I waited for him to go to bed, so we didn't get to sleep till after midnight. It was an awful night of sleep... Lila was up from 3-5am. Screaming. I was able to sleep in until 10 the next morning because my parents were here to watch Lila. Thankfully.
On Thursday, Jake took the 4-Runner to the Toyota dealership to have a bearing replaced. It cost around $550. The mechanic tried to trick him out of more money. He was pretty mad about that. And, it didn't fix the weird noise and vibrating that was happening with the 4Runner. So he spent a lot of time trying to figure that out.
On Friday, went to put lila down for nap at 11:15, she was really tired. As I was about to leave to pick up Jake so we could take his car to Muffler Man, she woke up. Grr. So I just left her with mom and and figured/hoped she would nap when I got back. Then the car wouldn't start and I cried because I just wanted to see Jake and I was really tired. It worked out, though. Got it started, picked Jake up, got things taken care of. Jake wanted them to have the U-Joint replaced, but the mechanics said that they were 90% sure that wasn't the problem. So instead, Jake had them replace the muffler, which needed to be done anyway. I talked to Mike while Jake was in the shop. He's having Cassandra problems, as always... but he was on his way to Toronto for the long weekend.
Lila napped well later that day. Jake got home and immediately started testing different things on the 4-Runner to figure out what was really wrong, and it ended up definitely being the U-Joint. Aunt Gina came to visit for a while. Kate Whitaker stopped by and we visited with her too.
Friday night we slept very well. Well, Lila did. I was still up a lot, but got some good rest. On Saturday morning, Jake and I dropped off his car (again) at Muffler Man so that they could fix the U-Joint, left Lila with Mom and Dad. Then he and I cleaned at church for a while--we switched weeks with Sean Randall--picked the easiest job (trash cans). Then went to lowe's for paint, then picked up (free) donuts for my parents. We took Dad and Lila to the farmer's market and had pulled pork. Mom and Em went to Kohl's. Jake and I got to cuddle while Lila took a nap, watched Mad Men. They took Lila to the mall in the afternoon so Jake and I could start painting our room. It would've gone much smoother if would've started earlier in the day. We were tired. Jake spilled paint a few times. We went against "the plan" and he was frustrated about that eventually. ("The plan" is to do all of the edging first and then do the rolling, to make sure that we get everything done that we need to.) But, it all got done. Lila went to bed in her own room. She's still been sleeping with us, but with the painting we needed to finish up, we put her in her own room and she slept great. She was up again for 2 hours in the middle of the night, and I don't know what that's all about. After I gave her some food she fell asleep, so maybe she was hungry.
Lila did great with my parents and Emily, loved them and didn't get nervous around them. She still loved to see me after we were apart. I've never spent so much time away from her. It's good for her though, and it's good for me. Good for me to let go just a little bit, and let her be okay with other people.
My parents left Sunday morning at around 10:00. Lila slept till 8:30 (she had been up again in the middle of the night). We had church at 9:00 so it was a quick goodbye. My mom cried, said she loved Lila so much. She's going to miss her. I cried on the way to church. I was so tired and didn't feel well, and was sad that my parents were leaving. I was also really not looking forward to church. As it was when I was pregnant with Lila, church is difficult. Especially in Primary. I need to have a better attitude about it, but it's just so exhausting. Jake took Lila to Nursery for a while. He was in there the whole time, but she freaked out after a while, especially because I was holding another little boy.
Got home. Took naps. Took Lila for a walk, ran into Kate who was walking George, so we all walked together. Visited with Justin and his son Cameron across the street. Had dinner. And then we went to a bonfire at Terie and Steve's next door. Lila loved playing around with the boys and had her first s'more. It was a cool night, perfect for a fire.
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