Yesterday was another long day, but Lila took a 3 hour nap, so that helped a whole lot. :) Kate called at 1:30 to see if we wanted to do a late lunch at Panera, but Lila was already sleeping. I invited her over for the evening because Jake would be gone at his church meeting and Frank has homework (he's getting his Masters in Engineering), but she ended up getting busy. So she might come over today.
Jake got to stop home for a quick dinner before his meeting. We Skyped throughout the evening about the whole media thing. He's still not so sure about watching The Office, but does want to have some kind of "rule" or guideline that we use to determine whether or not we'll watch something. I honestly don't think we have a problem right now with media... we barely watch anything as it is, and we don't watch sleazy, inappropriate things. So, we'll see. :) I think it's funny when he goes on crusades like this, but he just feels really strongly about teaching our children correct principles and not exposing them to inappropriate things. He's been quoting The Office all morning (I don't know if he's realized it though), so, that's funny.
Lila is so smart it's amazing. She recognizes Joseph Smith and says, "Joseph Smith" when we see different pictures of him in magazines. She's awesome. Today at the midwife's office, another mom in the waiting room was surprised that she was only 20 months old, because her 26 month old son isn't nearly as verbal, and cannot navigate her iPhone nearly as well as Lila can. Pretty funny. Lila is seriously a pro on that thing. Something else about Lila that's funny... she hates it when we wear zip-up sweatshirts or sweaters inside. Actually, I don't know if she notices when Jake does it because he wears them so often, but she freaks out when I do.
Yesterday we were eating lunch together, and she leans forward, kisses me on the lips (with Spaghettios all over her face and all), and says "I yuff ooh." And then she continued on, "I miss you." lol. Last night after Jake left, she said, "Daddy go to church. I yuff ooh Daddy. I miss you." I think it throws her off when Jake's gone at night and bedtime. She had a hard time getting to bed again.
This morning went well. We had our midwife appointment with Linda, the only midwife we hadn't met yet. She's older (probably in her 70s?) and really personable and friendly, good-humored. At 8:30 we had a quick BPP ultrasound. Baby was sleeping for a while so she had to poke him quite a bit to get him moving and practicing breathing. He did make some really big movements that surprised her, which was funny. He's looking great. Our actual appointment went well too. The BIG NEWS is that we scheduled our ultrasound!!! We were looking at the calendar, and the past week or so I've been thinking the 20th, just to give us an extra day to recover before Christmas, but it'll be the 21st. That's Jake's preference--he thinks it's a much cooler birthday. So it'll be 12-21-11, as long as everything goes smoothly. Linda said that because it's my second baby and I didn't have any complications with the first, it should go very smoothly... that midwives love delivering second babies because they're known to be the least challenging. I'll get to the hospital at 7:30 am. Heather is the midwife on call, so she'll be there. She's my least favorite midwife, but oh well. I'm still hoping that we can go home the next day. I am really nervous about leaving Lila. And we will be able to leave the next day as long as I'm feeling okay and the pediatrician is okay with the baby leaving.
This is awesome. It's pretty cool knowing the time frame, though he could surprise us and come earlier. Doubt it though. She checked my cervix and although it's nice and soft, it hasn't started opening yet. I'm very excited to meet this little boy.
Jake and I had a funny conversation on the way home. When he and Phil Neal went to Ohio earlier this week, they talked in the car about how calm Jake is... he's notorious for being non-emotional when it comes to business there. Phil said that most of the time this is a real strength and advantageous, but sometimes it isn't because it hinders communication... like when Jake needs to be excited in order to build excitement about something with his co-workers, or if he needs to communicate how important something is... since he's so laid back, it doesn't always come off as important, or whatever. It is so true, and he said, "Hey, I know this about myself. For the first three years of my marriage, my wife was always asking, Don't you have feelings?!" lol. Anyway, today was a good example of this trait of Jake's. I was talking about how excited I was on the way home from the midwife appointment, that we knew when we were going to have Jared and that it's so close. And Jake, as usual, kind of shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah." And so I kept prodding him to show some excitement!! Because I really haven't felt that he's excited much at all this whole pregnancy. And he said that he really is excited on the inside, but just doesn't show it on the outside, because "what's the point?" Isn't that funny? He doesn't know what the point is. The point is to be excited about having a baby with your wife, so that your wife feels more confident and excited and happy about it! He shows the same level of enthusiasm about this baby as he does about... grocery shopping. At first he said that him telling me that he's excited (in a non-excited way) should be enough, that he shouldn't have to show me... and then I asked, "Well, then if I love you, I should have to show you that I love you, I can just tell you right?" (Referring to sex.) He got the point then. When he first told me about his and Phil's conversation, too, he told me that he'd really like to improve and be better at showing his emotion... because people don't really care about the information you're giving them unless they feel the humanity behind it. His words. I told him that that's what attracted to me immediately, the first time I saw him giving his homecoming talk at the Esky branch... he was so enthusiastic and happy and excited about life and the gospel. It instantly attracted me to him and I wanted to know him. Anyway, yeah, this whole pregnancy I haven't felt nearly as excited as I was with Lila, and I know a lot of that is normal, but I think it may also have had to do with Jake's attitude about it all. He wasn't super excited when we found out (he jumped on the bed when we found out with Lila), he didn't show any excitement at all when we found out we were having a boy!!, and just hasn't been as interested, I guess. He apologized and told me sincerely that he really is so excited to be having a little man, and is so excited to be having children with me. I believe him. :) One funny thing he said was that getting all excited and vocal and saying things like, "Wow! Awesome! We're having a baby soon!" was that it took away from the feeling of excitement internally... and likened it to riding a rollercoaster... he said you can focus on feeling much more excited when you ride one with a straight face instead of screaming the whole time... and he knows this because he's tried it both ways. LOL. Oh, Jake.
Oh, I also weighed around 141 at my appointment today. Looks like I'll be able to keep it under 150 this time, which is awesome.
Another thing. I've spent some time this week reading blogs (because I'm too tired to do anything else) about tandem nursing and breastfeeding. I found this blog, written by a Mormon woman who is way, way, way crunchier than I am. She has unassisted childbirths at home (no midwife or doctor present), is way into lactivation, feminism, etc. I never, ever went into this breastfeeding experience thinking that I would tandem breastfeed. The idea sounded ridiculous to me. I didn't have much exposure at all to breastfeeding before I had Lila. Really, it was only Melissa, and she weans her kids at around a year, so I figured that's what I'd do too. And while I loved breastfeeding Lila as an infant, I would have happily weaned her at a year if she had eaten like a normal kid. But with her issues, I almost exclusively breastfed her till 14-15 months (at which point I was already 2-3 months pregnant), and nursing because much more than just about food for her, it's one of her main sources of comfort. My milk supply has dropped dramatically, but I still have some, and she still loves nursing, but she has gotten better about seeking comfort from other things, like her blanket, sippy cup, and stuffed animals. She usually gets very upset when Jake tries to comfort her though. Anyway. So now she's 20 months old and still nursing and loves it, and I think weaning her at this point would be absolute torture for both her and I... so we're going to tandem. I feel good about it and think it will actually help with the transition of having a new baby in the home. It's been good to read about other women's experiences--there are so many women out there who've tandem breastfed--and I just got a book called "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" that comes highly recommended. It'll definitely be challenging at times, but I'm all about doing what I feel is best and right for Lila, rather than making decisions based on what would be easier for me. It's been nice, too, having Kate's support and friendship, as she's been nursing while pregnant and intends to tandem nurse too. I still intend on going the "eat, play, sleep" route with Jared so that he does not associate nursing with sleeping, as Lila definitely does. So, we'll see how this goes.
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