Tuesday, September 6, 2011

thoughts

Things are going well.  Jake and I have been getting along really well lately.  I think it's that thing that happens when I'm pregnant... I just really, really love him.  Love being around him, love being near him, love most things about him.  He's been really good to me too.

A book that is circulating the Betzold family right now is Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."  Jim (brother) suggested it to Mike.  The title sounds pretty... sexist, but it's actually an awesome book and very in line with gospel principles.  Dr. Laura really stands up against the downside of the feminist movement--women thinking that they don't need a husband or family, not having the right priorities, etc.  One of my favorite quotes in the book so far (I only got less than half-way through before I gave it back to Mike, so that he could give it to Cassandra...) is this --

     "No, I probably will not be writing about the care and feeding of wives.  Why?  Because the truth is that when it comes to home and relationships, women rule.  This is a book about how to rule wisely and lovingly.  If a woman does not marry a sociopath or narcissist, then she's got her basic 'male package.'  And your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife's hero, to be his wife's dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated.  Men live to make their women happy.
     "The cruelest thing a wife can do to a husband is to never be happy.  And don't forget, being happy is more an attitude than a reality.  When things are going bad, when there are problems and challenges, disappointments and disasters, it is obvious that happiness is going to be undermined.  However, when one looks for that little peek-hole in the sky where the sun does shine through, then it is a lovely day.
     "And it becomes a lovely day for everyone you touch." 

I've heard this many times... that women set the tone of the home, that they have a huge impact in the home, etc.  But this just put it in a way that I've never really thought of before.  And then it made me think that I must be doing something right.  It's easy, after a while, to think that we have a happy marriage, home, and family because that's the way it naturally is.  But really, it must be because I work hard at making it this way.  And I'm not perfect, but I do try and my efforts are bearing fruit.  The love, happiness, and peace that is in my home are gifts from God, but also a result of my work.  I create these feelings and this atmosphere.  And I'm so grateful to be a woman, wife, and mother.  Reminds me of that talk President Uchtdorf gave a few years ago to the Relief Society --

      "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
     ... To what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
     If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
     You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.  The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."

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