It's amazing all the things that can happen in 24 hours.
Last night after Lila went to bed, Jake and I sat on the couch for a while with his iPad 2 (from work) and played Angry Birds. I always thought it was lame and didn't know why people got so addicted to it. And then I got addicted to it. But at 9:30 I got hit with a massive headache/neck ache. Like the kind I used to have after we got married. They completely wipe me out and they hurt something awful. I had Jake rub my neck and shoulder for a while but it didn't help at all. Finally I laid down with a heating pad on it and that loosened my muscles up really well and I went to bed. I fell asleep sprawled across the bed, so by the time Jake was ready for bed an hour later, he decided to sleep on a guest bed instead of waking me up. Nice guy. I got him at 3am and I couldn't fall asleep for another hour or more. I don't sleep well when I'm pregnant.
Got up this morning with Jake. He'd talked to Mike the night before and Mike wants me to talk to Cassandra this weekend while she's here about Kalina, give her a different perspective on everything. Mike called at 7:30 to talk but I called him back after Jake left for work. Kalina texted him at 3:30am saying that she hadn't known he was dating anyone and that she couldn't move on and wanted to know if he "really truly" meant when he said he would've given her a chance if she would've asked for one. Yikes. He was pretty mad that she was texting him again. Decided to talk to Cassandra about it and see what she thought. He texted her back later in the day and said --
You won't be able to move on until you repent. The bishop can help you with that. I was 100 percent committed to you until we walked out of the courthouse and our divorce was final. You need to move on.
Kalina wrote back:
I will be able to completely move on now that you've answered my question. Thank you. As for the repentance, I have gone through with repenting. You don't know what has gone on in my life since the divorce so don't think that because I don't go to church here is because I haven't repented.
Grr. She still makes me mad. Mike's friends from church, the Zirkels, stayed at the Holiday Inn where she works while their power was out... she worked right along side with Corey (the guy she cheated on Mike with) the whole time and Brandon Zirkle said they were practically glued at the hip. Gross. She... makes me mad.
Anyway. We spent the morning playing. I took a shower. Gave Lila a tissue (Kleenex) to tear apart while I was in there to distract her. She "blew" her nose in it the whole time.
At 11:15 we had another OT appointment. This one went really well. In the past, we've been brought back to a small exam type room where you close the door. This time we just stayed in the big physical therapy room where there are tons of toys, mats, stairs, swings, etc. and other kids around. This made the biggest difference. Lila didn't cry at all and had fun playing around with Kristen. She must have mostly been afraid of the room because it reminded her of the doctor's office. We played a little bit with Cheerios. Told Kristen about Lila's progress and she was happy to hear that. She said next week we'll play a little while but then try to put her in a high chair to play with some food. She'd like Jake to start trying to get into Lila's mouth. She gave us a "gum massage" protocol... the goal is to eventually be able to go around Lila's mouth 3 times, but if all Jake can do is just touch Lila's gum once to start out with, that's fine. We're not supposed to stress Lila out at all or push her to do something. She said that with some kids, she can push them and make them mad because 2 minutes later they're over it and happy... but she recognizes that Lila is definitely not like that. If we force her to do something or make her stressed out, she will regress a lot. So we just make things fun and easy and try to move along slowly at her pace.
After that we grabbed lunch at Taco Bell together before Jake had to drive over to Stryker for a meeting. Lila stayed awake on the way home, thankfully, and went down right away for a nap when we got home. While she slept, I talked with Kelsey on the phone and then did some cleaning and reading. I read a bit of Sister Beck's talk "A 'Mother Heart'" and focused on the section about Proverbs 31. I noticed that a lot of the qualities of a virtuous woman have to do with hands... "she worketh willingly with her hands... with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard... she stretcheth out her hand to the poor..." So much of what we do as mothers is physical work. It has to do with touch and nurturing and cleaning and feeding and holding and soothing.
I'm so glad I read that when I did, because Lila woke up from her nap (after sleeping for 1 1/2 hours) and cried hysterically for a while. She was arching her back and kicking her legs like she was in a lot of pain and she wailed and cried. I gave her some Ibuprofen, got her blanket, and took her downstairs to nurse and rock in her chair. After reading that talk, all I wanted to do was soothe her and be there for her. She nursed and rocked with me for maybe 20-30 minutes before falling asleep for 30-40 minutes. It was amazing. She was so relaxed and peaceful. She fell asleep with her head on my chest, all snuggled in close to me, and I just sat there and rocked her. And then she let me cradle her like a baby while she slept and I just looked at her sweet face... like I did when she was a baby. Oh, I miss that. I soaked it all in and enjoyed it. I know that someday soon I won't be able to give her all that attention because I'll have another little one. I'm trying to enjoy every day with Lila. I love her so much.
She woke up from her mini-nap with a cheerful "dada!", hopped off my lap, and started playing with her toys. She was in a very good mood and felt a lot better. So we played in the basement for another hour or so. Got some texts from Jessica. Jason takes a big test tomorrow for med school and then has a 2.5 week break. They're going to spend next week working on their townhome (painting and such) and then they want to drive over to visit us!!! Yay!!! I'm so excited! We get to meet little Audrey (she'll be 2 months old), and show her how big Lila is, and do fun Michigan things, and show them our house. I'm so excited.
Lila got hungry so I took her up to the kitchen for dinner. It is so much fun now that she eats... I fix her her own little plate of food. I feel like a real mom! I gave her a plate of mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and green beans. She didn't eat the green beans but enjoyed the rest. When she was done with those, I gave her some Butterscotch pudding and she ate almost half of that. Good girl! I ate dinner too. Jake got home a little late from work.
The Betzold family is getting geared up and excited for the 4th of July! I'm so excited!
We took Lila outside a little while. Maybe 10-15 minutes. I think she got a little sunburnt in just that short time. Looks like I have to put sunscreen on her whenever we go outside. Did some yardwork. Lila tried sweeping the grass.
Got in. I cleaned the kitchen. Went to the basement and videochatted with Grandpa Betzold on the iPad. Lila hammed it up completely and won his heart. He was so happy to see her and is so excited for the 4th. She started calling him "Papa" which is amazing because we didn't tell her who it was! Very cute.
She went to bed at 9. It's now almost 11. Jake's doing work. I need to go to bed.
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