Winter Indoor Activities - Lila

1. Build forts
2. Cookie sheet drawing (draw in rice on a cookie sheet)
3. Pony beads and pipe cleaners (put pipe cleaners in a spice jar with shaker lid, slide beads down)
4. Button snake craft (ribbon, button, felt shapes)
5. Playdough
6. Pushing puff balls (cut holes in top of margarine container, push puff balls inside)
7. Water colors, painting
8. Bowling with pop bottles
9. Pillow mountains
10. Get a big box from a store, make a play house
11. Stickers
12. Balloons
13. Ride bikes
14. Play with pieces of tape
15. Library - story time

Dinner at Alicia's

After Lila's nap, we went to Alicia's house to play with Brig.  She had also invited us to stay for dinner with the missionaries.  Brig and Lila play really well together; it's cute.  They play in the little cardboard box house.  There's some drama among members in our ward--Jessica Wesel and Alicia--because Jessica wants to throw Holly a baby shower, but Alicia didn't want to combine the showers because invites had already gone out, and a few other reasons.  Alicia also doesn't want to be known as the girl who throws everyone a shower, and Holly is having another girl, and the other pregnant women in the ward (there are quite a few) are having "repeat" genders.  Alicia thinks that Jessica is mostly making a big deal out of it because she (Jessica) wants a baby shower for herself, even though she's having her third boy.

Anyway.  I don't like drama and I'm going to try to stay out of it as much as possible. :)

Dinner was nice.  Jake came straight from work.  We had a nice visit.  Came home.  Jake was really tired.    But he stayed up till 10:30.  And Lila didn't get to bed till 11:30.  Yikes.  I was tired.

I made sure she got up not too late this morning, 8:30.  We had a Primary meeting at church at 10:00. Lila got to happily run around with her little friends Tessa and Ella.  And then we met Jake at Culver's for lunch.  And now Lila's napping, and Emily and I are watching Obsessed on Netflix in the basement.

FHE and Date Night

Jake's Family Home Evenings growing up were never very formal... like sit down for a lesson, etc.  But they did always spend time doing something together in the name of Family Home Evening, and they had Family Council every Sunday night.  Usually our Family Home Evening consists of going for walks, and we're really good at having nightly scripture study with Lila and prayers.  When we read with her, we read several verses and then explain the principles in them and bear our testimonies.  FHE is more about fun, right now anyway.  I do want to make sure we're teaching our children gospel principles regularly, not just once a week.  I just think it's important that when we do fun things together on Monday night, we call it Family Home Evening and make it something to look forward to.  So we'll see.

Anyway, so FHE we went for a family walk.  It was sunny and pretty nice out.  We let Lila scoot on her little tricycle and she had her cute helmet on.  She didn't get very far on the trike, but we did take the stroller too, so that helped. :)  We stopped at Frank and Kate's to drop off a Sweet Tango apple from Terie.  And then walked back home.

Yesterday we were supposed to watch Brig and Ella so their parents could go on dates.  But Alicia called in the morning to say that Derek had to work late and then had a church meeting, so she'd like to watch the kids instead.  (They only have one car, so she wouldn't have been able to go out on her own anyway.)  So, Jake and I got a date!  Lila did just fine... except for she fell off her chair at dinner and then cried until we got back. lol.  Poor girl.  I forgot to tell Alicia that her blankie and snacks were in her diaper bag--I think if she would've gotten a favorite snack or her blankie she would've calmed down.

Anyway, Jake and I drove around for a while deciding what to eat.  We ended up at Applebee's and it the food could've been better, but we had a nice time talking and just sitting there.  And then we went to the mall.  I had a $10 off coupon for JC Penney and I wanted to buy some maternity jeans (the ones I bought when I was pregnant with Lila shrunk (way too short).  So I tried a bunch on and in the end decided on a pair that was priced at $36, but with the coupon would've been $26.  We get to the register, and the cashier's like, "Wow! These are on clearance and are $7!" So we went back to find another pair, and did (probably the last two pairs) and got them both for $4!  Muahahaha.  We were really excited about that.  Jake and I like saving money.  But it was a true blessing because they weren't even on a clearance rack or marked on sale or anything.  Jake said, "Jared is like a miracle baby."  And I said, "Yeah, maybe he'll be born on Christmas."

So when we picked Lila up, she was crying, but we gave her and her friends some snacks and she calmed down very quickly.  And then we stayed till past 10:00pm visiting with the Thompsons and Tensmeyers.  That was fun.  Jake and I are going to have a Halloween party--Alicia told us we should. (She would totally host it but doesn't have a house.)  It'll be the first party ever that we've thrown, and our friends here from church are way into parties.  So it should be fun.  Hopefully not too much work.  :)

Lila didn't get to bed till 11 so she slept till 10 this morning.  Jake and I went to bed late again.  We're both tired.  She's napping now.

Jake's Birthday continued...

To continue where I left off... I was going to toot my own horn and say that when Jake spilled paint on our carpet, I didn't even flinch either, didn't say anything about it, just shrugged it off and hoped that it would come out (it did).  We're getting better.  Not perfect, but better.

The Primary Program went well.  Kids were cute.  We sat all the way in the back, and Lila did great the whole time.  She usually sits very well in our laps until after the sacrament.  She likes to eat the sacrament bread, and this time she said "Water" after she took the bread, because she knew the water was coming next.  But she just hasn't figured out how to drink the water out of that little cup yet. :)  We sat next to a family with some girls who had flowers in their hair and Lila said, "A flower!" and the mom was so impressed with how smart she was. :)  Lila colored and ate snacks the rest of the hour.

Then, we tried Nursery.  The first hour or so didn't go so well.  She was clingy and didn't want me to leave.  When I did leave, she didn't last 5 minutes before they brought her out, crying.  So we took a little break and then tried again.  Jake brought her in this time, and oh my goodness was she excited about snack time.  I don't think she's ever been in there for snack time.  He left, and she was just fine.  But 5 minutes later, they brought her to me because she had a poopy diaper, she wasn't crying or anything.  And the whole time I changed her diaper, all she could say was "Snack! Nursery!"  So I brought her back, and she was a little nervous for me to leave, and had finished her snack, so she just hopped around the little carpet squares they use for singing time and I snuck out.  And she lasted the rest of the hour just fine :)  I'm so proud!  I asked Annette how she did during singing time, and Annette said she did great, that you couldn't even tell it she was a newbie.  I'm so proud.  I should've known--snacks and singing are two of her favorite things, so I'll have to remind her of that next time.

Primary was nice because we let the kids watch a movie and have a special snack to "celebrate" their good job in the Program.  So the leaders/teachers got to sit, snack, and visit too, which was a nice break.

After church, Lila took a (short) nap while Jake and I had some lunch.  After Lila woke up and had lunch, she started to act tired again, so I laid down with her hoping that she'd fall asleep again, but she didn't.  But I did.  Couldn't keep my eyes open and couldn't move my body, so I slept.  Emily was over, so I told Jake that he could lay down too if he was tired and Em could watch Lila, but he didn't want a nap.  So while I was sleeping, he and Emily made a chocolate cake from scratch.  So the joke is that I took a nap on Jake's birthday while he made his own cake. :)  He's a good guy.

Jim, Angela, and Emily came over to celebrate, which was really nice of them.  They hadn't seen our house since we didn't any painting.  Lila loves playing with cousin Emily too.  The cake was really good.  Terie, Brody, and Toby came over for that.

After they left, we sat around the table talking about Sarah (ex-wife) and Emily and how frustrating it is for Jim sometimes.  Sarah... is just not meeting Emily's needs.  And last night, Jake and I were talking about how a lot of Emily's needs are not being met by either parent.  Angela and Jim are good at meeting her physical needs--they provide a much more stable home environment than she's ever had before.  Angela said that one day recently, Emily was playing house, and Emily introduced her to her "two sons from her first marriage and her one child from her second marriage."  And Angela asked her about that and Emily said, "Well, my first husband wasn't the right one and didn't listen to me and we didn't communicate, but my second husband is the right one."  And later asked, "Aren't you supposed to get married twice?"  And Angela and Jim kind of laughed about it, but if my child was asking that, it would be sending up all kinds of red flags and I would be so vigilant in trying to teach them correct principles about marriage and families.

I feel really grateful that Jake and I are on the same page and are both committed to teaching our children the gospel.  I feel like we have the same mind and heart about it--unity.  We talked on Monday night about it.  I told him that I want our children to really feel and see the love that we have for the gospel, for the scriptures, for prayer.  I asked him if he could feel and see that in his own parents, specifically for his dad... and he said that it wasn't quite like that.  His dad and I guess his mom too were very much about duty--they taught their children and especially their sons about duty.  They were both converts to the gospel, and they decided together that they were going to fully commit to the gospel: they were going to church every Sunday, they would pay tithing, they would serve in whatever capacity asked of them, etc.  And we're so grateful for their sacrifices and examples.  And we know that every generation has the potential to be better... so we will do better than our parents, and hope that our children will be better than we are.


Anyway.  Just really grateful for Jake and to have him as a partner.  Happy birthday to Jake.

Our Weekend (Jake's Birthday)

Fridays always seem kind of long to me, because I'm just so excited for Jake to get home and the weekend to start.  During the day, I taught Lila how to say "Friday!" and "Weekend!"  And we cheer those things together throughout the day.  She says, "Weekend Daddy!" because I tell her that we get to spend the weekend with Daddy.  We sure love that Daddy.

Friday morning at 10:00 we had Kari, Amber, Ann and their kids (all boys) over.  That was fun.  Except for I had an awful stiff neck, so was in quite a bit of pain, but the kids all had fun.  That was a nice way to pass the morning.  After Lila's nap, I laid in bed with her for a while and let her watch some cartoons on Netflix... because I couldn't keep my eyes open and fell asleep.  By the time I woke up, we started getting dinner ready.  That evening, Jake cleaned up the kitchen and took Lila for a bike ride so that I could rest, and by the time they got back, my stiff neck was almost all better, so I was grateful for that.  After Lila went to bed, Jake and I watched some TV shows on Hulu and then went to bed ourselves. But not till midnight.  Too late, as usual.

Saturday morning we went to the Farmer's Market, as usual, and also to Payless for some church shoes for Lila and to Kohl's to make some returns and spend our Kohl's cash.  Then it was a nap for Lila at home, and then we all went to Babies R Us and Target to register!  Alicia Thompson, Jen Randall, and Kasey Hunt are throwing me a baby shower on October 15th--really sweet of them.  And they sent out the Evite on Friday, where they posted that I was registered at those places, so that needed to get done ASAP.  It was fun.  Not as exciting or time consuming, as it was the first time around, but we haven't really done a lot of baby-related things yet, so it was fun to get back in that mode and be excited for the arrival of our little boy.  We also stopped at Meijer.  When we got home, I quickly got ready for the RS dinner preceding the General RS broadcast.  Emily and I went together, and it was nice to have a break and just talk and eat.  Visited with Annette Shumway.  She cracks me up.  She said that everytime Preston interacts with Jake or I, he tells her how awesome we are and that we really need to hang out more because time is running out (he's done with his residency in June, I think).  So they're coming over on Friday.  Sonja Staples was there--she got the Evite to my shower and she hadn't even known that I was pregnant! lol.  She's coming over this week too with her two youngest to see the house.

Emily and I left to watch the broadcast at home.  Lila had a blast playing with Daddy, taking a bath, going to Harding's to get some more groceries.  Even though Daddy forgot to feed her dinner :)  Bedtime didn't go very smoothly... she woke up not too long after she fell asleep, crying and wanting Mommy, so she slept with us.  She's still not feeling 100% better.  And I had Primary things to finish up (I procrastinated, of course).  So we all went to bed after 11:00 and got up at 7:30.

It's Jake's 28th birthday today!  Hooray, Jake!  To begin our celebration, I spilled some of my breakfast cereal on his iPad.  And he didn't even flinch, just cleaned it up and didn't say another word.  We do things like that now.  I... have to go help clean up the kitchen now.  More tomorrow.

26 weeks today - Lila's 18 month birthday

Lila is 18 months old today!  Time is flying.  Can't believe it's already been 6 months since her birthday, and a whole year since she was 6 months old.  Before you know it she'll be 2.  Her present to herself, and also to me, was to go down for a second nap. :)  Her normal nap at noon didn't last too long, a little over an hour, so I'm really glad she went down again.  Especially because she didn't get to bed till 11pm last night.

I am 26 weeks today.  Time is flying.  We still have 3 months to go, but I think it'll happen so quickly.  The baby has started moving a lot more the past few days.  Out of the corner of my eye, sometimes I see my belly popping up where he's kicking.  He's kicking more often too.

Found out today that Emily has December 15-January 16 off of school!  That's AMAZING.  I was thinking she'd probably have to go back shortly after New Years, but YAY.  She'll definitely be available to watch Lila when we're at the hospital with Jared... if my parents are also here during that time, it's not that big of a deal, but this baby could technically come before or after the holidays.  I feel really relieved about that--I'd been pretty worried about how that would all work.  She might go home for a week or so during that time, but if Jake is home from work, that shouldn't be too bad.  It would be great to have her help those first few weeks.

I've just spent the past half hour reading through posts on this blog.  About a family who lost their first (and only) daughter to cancer when she was 11 months old.  I've been sitting here crying, feeling heartbroken for them, and feeling so grateful for my sweet Lila.  I'm going to smother her with kisses when she wakes up.  I am so blessed to have her.

Unmotivated

When Jake went to bed early on Monday night, she and I did our nightly routine without him.  When it came time to read the Book of Mormon, I gave her a blue missionary copy to "read" and started reading out loud.  She walked out of the living room, into our bedroom, and came back eventually.  When I walked into our room later, I noticed that she had put her copy of the Book of Mormon next to Jake while he was sleeping.  How cute is that?  She wanted Daddy to read with us.  Also, when I gave her her toothbrush, she brought it to sleeping Jake, because he usually brushes teeth with her.  Cute.

This has been a pretty lame week.  Lame because I'm just feeling really blah and unmotivated.  Lila's been under the weather, but it hasn't been too bad.  She's actually just been sleeping more, which is fine by me. But we haven't been going out and doing a lot like usual, so I'm just not used to sitting at home all the time.  But I need to get used to it... we'll be doing a lot of that this winter!

Yesterday at around 4 we stopped at Kate Whitaker's to visit.  That was nice.  Jake and I were supposed to drop Lila off at Holly's for our date night, but since she has a cold, we didn't.  We did go pick up a bed rail for Lila from Craigslist and then went out to get custard at Culver's, so it was still a fun night as a family.  Lila is so darn cute.  We love her.

Lately she's been loving the green smoothies that Jake makes and regularly requests "moonies" (smoothies).  She also likes string cheese.  We went for a walk as a family last night and then had smoothies.  But I can't drink the ones Jake usually makes because I've developed an allergy to peaches.  Bummer.

We spent time talking to Mike on the phone.  Things are still shakey with Cassandra, and I suspect they will continue to be for a while, but Mike is still willing and wanting to work on it, which is good.  I actually wrote Cassandra an email, because I felt prompted to.  In response, she said she and Mike were having a lot of ups and downs and asked if Jake and I experienced that.  I wrote this --

Hey Cassandra,

Life here is good.  Trying to enjoy the last of the warm weather and life with just one child.  I have a feeling that the transition to two kids is going to be pretty hard, but even so, we're so excited to meet him and for Lila to have a little brother.  Kids are a lot of fun.  Mike's been sharing some of his side of the story, so I kind of know what's going on, but his perception of it is probably different than yours. :)  I do think that I understand where you're coming from, at least from the things that Mike has said.  I had a lot of big decisions to make after I met Jake.  It all seemed to happen very quickly, and Jake was very intense too :)  There were definitely some ups and downs in our relationship in the beginning, but those ended as soon as I decided once and for all that I was going to marry Jake.  After we decided to merge our lives together, things were still very difficult--because my parents and other family members weren't supportive of our decision to marry at such young ages and in the temple... and because it takes a lot of work to see eye-to-eye and figure out how to make a relationship work--but we faced those problems together, and I think that built a strong foundation for our whole marriage.  Actually, the period of our engagement was the most difficult time of my whole life.  I was heartbroken that my parents weren't supportive and wouldn't be able to be at the sealing (my dad, though endowed, decided to sit with my mom during the ceremony), and it was really hard to be living 3 hours away from Jake (he was at college).  I was under a lot of stress, especially not being able to see how it would all work out in the end.  But, I felt so strongly that Heavenly Father would bless me, our marriage, and our future children, for the righteous decisions I was making: to be sealed for eternity to a righteous man that I loved.  And Heavenly Father has surely blessed us.  My relationship with my parents has never been better.  Especially with my mom.  She adores Jake and especially adores her grandchildren.  And even though I was told before I got married that happiness in marriage is so wonderful, I had no idea that Jake and I could be so happy together.  We are so happy together, every day.  

Thinking back to the time when I was trying to make a decision about what I should do (I needed to first of all decide if I was going to go to BYU as planned or if I was going to stay in the UP, and I knew that if I stayed in the UP I would marry Jake), I received advice from my parents at times when I was very distraught and confused that helped me make the decision.  Even though we didn't see eye-to-eye about me marrying Jake, they knew that Jake and I were very much in love and very happy together.  I remember talking with my dad once, and he told me that as long as I was being obedient to Heavenly Father's commandments and living righteously, I could do what I wanted to do (in regards to marrying Jake or not), and I would be happy.  I just needed to do what felt right.  And then talking to my mom, she said something along the lines of, "I don't think you could find a better man than Jake.  He loves you so much.  He is a good man."  I knew that was true.  I understood that if I didn't want to marry Jake--I knew it was about what I wanted to do--that I would eventually find another man who would be good and kind and righteous.  He wouldn't be better than Jake, he would just be different.  And I knew that I would be just as happy with one righteous man as I would with another, because usually marriage is what you make of it.  But, I realized that no, I couldn't hope to find another man better than Jake.  He was good, kind, loving, wonderful... even though in many ways he was not the kind of person I expected I'd marry (I never ever imagined that I'd marry such a practical engineer type guy).  Most importantly, he loved me fiercely and was so loyal and committed to having a happy marriage.  And I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, and of him moving on and of him marrying/loving another woman.  So I made my decision.  And I have never, ever regretted it. 

Oh, and here's a quote from Elder Holland I read recently that I loved.  I shared it with Mike too.  

"To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship.  It is a real act of faith--faith all of us must be willing to exercise.  If we do it right, we end up sharing everything--all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys--with another person.  No serious courtship or engagement is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing trust ourselves totally to the one we love.  You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety's sake.  The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.

 
Looking back, I'm so grateful for those opportunities I was given to grow.  It tested my faith a lot, but because Jake and I moved forward, we've been blessed.  Marriage is wonderful, Cassandra.  It is so worth every sacrifice and difficult decision, and all the late nights talking and figuring things out together.  I hope you and Mike can come to a decision together that you'll be happy with.  How are you feeling about everything?  Remember to relax and have fun together too.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the intense and important things that we forget to just have fun and laugh together.

Rudi



Anyway.  They both still have a lot to learn about relationships. :)


Bedtime was rough.  Lila wasn't feeling well and I was exhausted, so she didn't get to bed till 11.  Jake was awesome though and cleaned the kitchen and living room for me.  Good man.  Oh, one of the reasons I was worn out was because Lila threw her first full-fledged tantrum yesterday morning.  It wasn't horrible, but it was annoying. :)  She was mad because I took her owl jammies off to change her diaper and put clothes on her.  And she lost it.  I picked out a shirt that she wanted to wear, and even though she wanted me to put it on her, every time I tried she would freak out.  So that lasted 20 minutes or so, but ended just as quickly and easily as it began.  Weird.  Guess I'll have to get used to that.  Just lots of crying and screeching and gagging, nothing major.  I remember crying like that when I was little... I remember laying on the ground and crying and feeling the tears fall into my ears and my hair and while I was laying there, thinking very clearly, "I don't know why I'm crying, but it feels good." lol.  So, at least I kind of know what she's going through.

Stand Strong Against the Wiles of the World

Quotes from President Hinckley's address to the Relief Society, during which the Proclamation to the Family was first read.  Found here.

To you wives and mothers who work to maintain stable homes where there is an environment of love and respect and appreciation I say, the Lord bless you. Regardless of your circumstances, walk with faith. Rear your children in light and truth. Teach them to pray while they are young. Read to them from the scriptures even though they may not understand all that you read. Teach them to pay their tithes and offerings on the first money they ever receive. Let this practice become a habit in their lives. Teach your sons to honor womanhood. Teach your daughters to walk in virtue. Accept responsibility in the Church, and trust in the Lord to make you equal to any call you may receive. Your example will set a pattern for your children. Reach out in love to those in distress and need.

It is the home which produces the nursery stock of new generations. I hope that you mothers will realize that when all is said and done, you have no more compelling responsibility, nor any laden with greater rewards, than the nurture you give your children in an environment of security, peace, companionship, love, and motivation to grow and do well.

The more surely you rear your children in the ways of the gospel of Jesus Christ, with love and high expectation, the more likely that there will be peace in their lives.

Set an example for them. That will mean more than all the teaching you can give them. Do not overindulge them. Let them grow up with respect for and understanding of the meaning of labor, of working and contributing to the home and its surroundings, with some way of earning some of their own expense money. Let your sons save for missions, and encourage them to prepare themselves, not only financially, but spiritually and in an attitude to go out to serve the Lord without selfishness of any kind. I do not hesitate to promise that if you will do so, you will have reason to count your blessings.

May the Lord bless you, my beloved sisters. You are the guardians of the hearth. You are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God. May you be strengthened for the challenges of the day. May you be endowed with wisdom beyond your own in dealing with the problems you constantly face. May your prayers and your pleadings be answered with blessings upon your heads and upon the heads of your loved ones. We leave with you our love and our blessing, that your lives may be filled with peace and gladness. It can be so. Many of you can testify that it has been so. The Lord bless you now and through the years to come, I humbly pray in the name of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

A Good Sunday and a lame-ish Monday (25w 5d)

We all woke up by 7:30, but we were still late for church.  Jake brought up the tub of 12-24 mo. clothes from storage to find some tights for Lila, and we discovered that she fits in a lot of the 24 mo. clothes still that I thought she'd outgrown.  Because now she isn't nearly as chubby, and they'll fit over her tummy.  Hehe.  It's so funny to me that she'll be able to wear a lot of the clothes this fall/winter that she was wearing last fall/winter.  Brings back a lot of memories to look through them, and I thought we had tucked them away forever.

Lila played well in Nursery during 2nd hour, but Jake was there the whole time, and she cried when he did eventually leave.  We had to do the youth panel discussion during 3rd hour, but we ended up taking her and she did just fine, snacking on fruit snacks and granola bars.  The discussion went well.  I sure love the youth.  It wasn't so long ago that I was one myself.  One of the comments we made as a panel was that life is so much easier after high school.  I mean, it's harder in a lot of ways (a lot more responsibilities, a lot of sacrifice), but so much easier too.

She fell asleep on the way home from church, which was great, because we only stopped at home to change and grab lunch before heading to Holland to visit Jim.  She slept the whole way there, which was also awesome.  Jake and I were both tired.  And he broke his (very cheap) sunglasses in half just by opening them, so we had a good laugh about that.  It was a nice visit with Jim and his family.  Emily was sick (coughing) and had stayed home from church, so Jake and I were a little annoyed that they hadn't rescheduled, but whatever.  We had a very delicious lunch and went to the park to play.  Emily pushed Lila in a baby swing almost the whole time.  On a regular swing, Lila gets scared very easily if we push her even a tiny bit high, but she was having a blast on this swing.  Laughing and saying "Whoa!" and "Wee!"  So that was fun.

We left at around 6.  Jim and Angela were watching a movie, so we fed Lila some dinner and then hit the road.  Lila fell asleep on the way home, so got an extra nap, which meant that she went to bed an hour later... so not till around 10:30.  Mike came over to get a blessing from Jake and to tell us about his weekend with Cassandra.  They're still dating but he's now not convinced that she's "the one."  So, more drama, but it's okay.  We ended up going to bed after midnight, not good.

Yesterday we laid low most of the day, but did manage to make a big grocery shopping trip after Lila's nap.  Now that Lila's eating, it's become a lot more important to me to have the house well-stocked with food and to have a good dinner (almost) every night.  So I've been doing a lot better with that.  Before, when it was just Jake and I eating, it wasn't that big of a deal to me... because Jake seems pretty indifferent about food and what I make.  It's never a big deal to him, so it's not a big deal to me.  (He doesn't get excited about good food, really.)  But it's a big deal to Lila and it's important that she gets good food in her belly.  We're all happier that way.  I've been making a lot of soups, pastas, and casseroles because she usually eats those pretty well, and will eat the vegetables in them. 

We had dinner together.  Jake got home right at 5:30, which was nice.  He called me during the day to chat too because he had to drive downtown and back, and that was also nice.  Good to talk during the day.  We videochatted with his dad after dinner and then right after that, at around 7:30 or 8:00, he went to bed.  And I was up with Lila till 10:30.  She was pretty miserable.  Crying and fighting bedtime.  I finally lured her into bed by watching Blue's Clues there, and after that she did fall asleep and slept very well.  But was up at 7:30am.  I think I'll take her to the library after her nap.  She's still under the weather, but it will be good to get out and do something.  It's a beautiful sunny day out too, which also makes a difference.


As of today, there are 100 days till my due date!!  It's coming!  He's coming!  I'm really excited to meet him.  He's kicking more, but I seem to remember Lila being more active.  Who knows.  Maybe it's just that I'm not sitting around as much as I was with Lila, so I don't notice it as much. 

Hmm... what else.  The other day, Jake and I were talking about our family, and he said that he feels a lot of "pressure" from me to spend his extra time at home, with Lila and I.  I thought it was interesting that he used the word pressure... because I know that it sometimes feels like I put some pressure on him.  He didn't mean it in a negative way, because he continued to say that he's so grateful that I put an emphasis on that because it blesses his own life and our whole family a lot.  To have a very strong, influential, righteous, and loving husband/father in our home makes a huge difference.  And Lila and our other children will have lots of good memories with him, and will have strong relationships with him.  I feel like that is so important.  He said that his dad was like that too... when Jake and his siblings were growing up, Dad didn't have hobbies that took him outside of the home.  I really appreciate that example.  I know that it's important for me to get out of the house and away from Lila once in a while, but it's maybe once a month that I feel that way, and it's only for a few hours.  But what makes me the happiest is to be at home with my family.

A quote that I sent to Mike today (he returned the engagement ring yesterday, but is still dating Cassandra, who still seems to want marriage, but not willing to commit or actually move forward with it).  By Elder Holland (I love Elder Holland) --

To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship.  It is a real act of faith--faith all of us must be willing to exercise.  If we do it right, we end up sharing everything--all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys--with another person.  No serious courtship or engagement is worth the name if we do not fully invest all that we have in it and in so doing trust ourselves totally to the one we love.  You cannot succeed in love if you keep one foot out on the bank for safety's sake.  The very nature of the endeavor requires that you hold on to each other as tightly as you can and jump in the pool together.

That's exactly what it felt like when Jake and I got engaged... that we were holding on to each other tightly and jumping into the pool together. :)

Good Life

It's 10:12 on a Saturday night.  Jake's writing an email to his boss, Jen.  Lila's in bed.  Mike and Cassandra left a little while ago.  Things are okay with them right now.  Last night Jake told Mike he needed to get rid of these dates/deadlines the two of them had.  He wanted to get engaged by September 22nd (that's when he'd need to return the ring by), but she wanted to wait till at least October 1st.  And they'd been talking (a few months ago) about getting married on December 17th.  It was creating a lot of pressure for both of them, so when Mike did bring it up to her, she felt very relieved. They spent the day together and seemed pretty happy when they were here, so, yeah.  Too much drama, I agree AnnaMarie.  We told Mike this morning stop stop overanalyzing and just have fun today.

Thursday turned out to be a good day.  Emily and I (and Lila) went to Kohl's, Target, and Payless to get some clothes/shoes for Lila.  We had dinner together, that Jake had to eat on his way to his meeting.  Emily gave Lila a bath, we Skyped with Mom and Dad.  And then Jake came home at 9:30 instead of midnight!  They had Stake Priesthood Leadership Training that night and didn't reconvene after the meeting.  I was so happy, and so was he.  And even though we were both tired and had the opportunity to go to bed early, we were up till midnight.  We always do that.  It was a really nice treat, for him to be home that early.  He got to see Lila for a little bit before she went to bed, too.

Yesterday afternoon Lila and I went to the nearby cider mill with Kate and baby George.  It's like a mile away from our house, which is pretty cool.  They have yummy donuts there. :)  So we ate donuts and visited for quite some time.  Lila walked around, pet the farm dog there, and was pretty whiney most of the time, actually.  Kate came over for a little while after that, till it was time for our husbands to come home.  I think it's so awesome that they live in our neighborhood.  I think we'll become very close, especially as George gets older and likes playing with kids.  Next summer will be fun, I'm sure we'll be playing lots together... especially because there aren't many other SAHM's in the neighborhood.

For dinner we picked up some food at Menna's Joint.  Lila fell asleep on the way there, so we got it to go.  Jen Randall (Jake's boss and the YW President at church) and her family (husband Sean and boys Reid (12) and Mackenzie (6)) came over for green smoothies after that and were here till 9:45.  Lila had a BLAST running around after them and they were really good with her.  I think motherhood probably becomes easier in a lot of ways once your kids are older and can play together.  Right now I'm Lila's only entertainment during the day.  It was a nice visit.  I really like them.  She told Jake at work that she thinks I'm very gifted at public speaking, that we both did a great job at the Standards Night.

Jake and I were up past midnight again, as usual.  Emily got home from the YSA Conference that the branch is hosting.  She actually helped plan it.  So we talked to her about that, and we were also talking to Mike on the phone too.

Today was good.  Lila slept great last night, which means we did too.  Relatively, anyway.  It's always relative when I'm pregnant.  She slept great except for when she fell off the bed.  Woops.  We haven't gotten a bed rail for her yet, we just stack pillows up, but I guess that didn't work.

We were up early.  Went to Kohl's to get jeans and some long-sleeved shirts for Jake.  He really doesn't like shopping.  I told him that if I could know exactly what would fit him and what wouldn't, I would do all of his shopping for him.  He appreciated that.  Lila was pretty cranky at Kohl's.  We also got her some more long-sleeved shirts and a sweatshirt.  I thought that since her summer clothes were all 3T, she'd be in that for the fall too, but she's in 2T for fall clothes, because her limbs aren't long enough.  She loves her new shirts, they have butterflies and monkeys on them.  She thinks that's really cool.

From there we stopped at some neighborhood garage sales on the way to the farmer's market.  I got some maternity pants (awesome!) and some baby boy clothes and a shirt for Lila.  Came home, Lila went down for a nap, and we worked out in the yard.  Pulled the rest of the flowers out so that we can plant grass in the spring.  Good to have that taken care of.

Lila likes just going for walks now, walking next to me down the road.  So we did that a few times this afternoon.  After dinner we had another camp fire at Terie's.  After that, Mike and Cassandra came over and we spent the whole time playing with and laughing at Lila, how cute she is.  And now here we are.  Another week over.

Lila @ almost 18 months

She'll actually be 18 months old in just a week, but here's what Lila's up to lately --

• She loves coloring.  Which means, she loves getting the crayons (she asks for them by name) and then telling me to draw things.  Her favorite thing for me to draw are "bwoonies" (balloons) and buggies.  She also likes socks and bikes.  And recently eye glasses.
• She has favorite songs.  She loves "Book of Mormon Stories" and can all do the hand motions with me.  She often starts singing this on her own by making a book and singing "Muck-a-mommy" which is how she says Book of Mormon.  She also loves "I Love to See the Temple."  Whenever she sees one or we say the word temple, she starts singing "want temple."  She also loves the ABC's or the "baby c's."  We have a toy that sings the ABC's and she bounces around, dancing to it.
• She tries to jump, and it's the cutest thing ever.  She only gets to her tip-toes, but she kind of throws her arms into the air too.  Very cute.
• She's pretty good at praying.  She knows to close her eyes, or she'll squint, but only for a few seconds.  Sometimes she'll kneel with us.  She can fold her arms, but first she'll often stick up her right arms into the air and then fold them.  Funny.  She still mostly squirms around while we pray, but that's okay.  A lot of times she'll say amen.
• Jake's been teaching her Chinese whenever he changes her diaper.  She says "Jia you!" while waving her arm, which literally means "Add oil!" - it's a phrase of encouragement.  She'll say it without any prompting, and then we'll all start doing it.  She won't say "I love you" when we ask her to, but she will say "Wo ai ni" (her version is "ai ni ni") which is I love you in Chinese.
• She tells me when things are "scary" - skee-wee.  Also very cute.
• When she wants to go to bed, she comes to me, and says "Bye bye Daddy!" in a kind of pouty, tired voice.
• Our nighttime routine is to play with her and have some snacks.  She'll do "airplane" with Daddy and Jake loves doing that with her.  She thinks it's fun too.  And she climbs all over him while he's laying on the floor.  And then we'll read from the Book of Mormon and have a prayer.  And then we'll brush teeth.  She likes brushing her own teeth, but doesn't do a very good job at it.  She'll stand at the sink and say "teefy" when she wants to.  She mostly likes sucking the berry-flavored toothpaste off of it.  She's sleeping in her own bed now and always sleeps with her "bankie."
• She asks for high fives by saying "high fi' Tubby!" which means "high five Toby!" because she and Toby give each other high fives.
• She really likes riding her bike.  Brody and Toby taught her to "crash" into things, so she thinks that's really funny and says "boom" when she does.  She doesn't pedal, but tries to sometimes.  Just pushes herself with her feet, and she can go pretty fast.
• I have a plastic tricycle for her in the basement for when it's cold/rainy outside and she pretends it's a motorcycle.  She calls it a motorcycle and says "vroom vroom."
• She loves bath time.  We let her have bubbles every time, and she loves that.  She likes playing with washcloths and putting them on her head, sucking on them, and washing herself.  When she's done with the bath, she says, "Bye Bye Tubby."
• Whenever we need to leave or move on, we ask her to say bye bye to whatever she's currently interested in, and she says it, and then moves on.  
• She likes going for walks after dinner in her "stwowwer" (stroller).  She likes to see the "cowies."
• Nursery isn't going so well.  She has a favorite toy there, but doesn't seem to understand that you can play with other kids too.  Maybe it will help having Brig in there.  Her first official day is Jake's birthday in a few weeks, but we've been bringing her in lately.  It doesn't help that the nursery leaders aren't usually there, so it's someone different every week.
• One of her obsessions is clothes.  She especially likes shirts and one of her most often-said phrases is "Daddy's sheet (shirt)" or "Mommy sheet."  She knows socks and towels and shoeys and jammies.  When she sees a man in a shirt and tie, she says "Daddy sheet."  She loves identifying people's shoes.  "Mommy shoeys" or "Daddy shoeys" or "Mike shoes" or "Nemmy shoeys."
• She still loves Nemmy and Mike.  Especially Nemmy.
• She still always poops in mine and Jake's closet.  It's one of her favorite places.  She walks in and closes the door by holding onto the doorknob, but leaves it open a crack.  She freaks out if she closes it all the way.  She's been really awesome lately at telling us when she's pooping.  She'll point and tell us "Pooping."  And the look on her face (the watery, red eyes) give it away too.
• When she's carrying something heavy, she says, "It heavy."
• She's very independent.  Says "no" a lot when we ask her if she wants something or wants to do something.  
• She recently started liking swings on the playground, but not baby swings, big kid swings.  She calls it "nwinging."  She'll sit on the swing for a really long time, and only likes to be pushed a very little bit, otherwise she says it's "skee-wee."
• She loves Baby Jared already.  She loves giving my belly kisses and resting her head on it.  She asks to see his ultrasound pictures now too.  She usually doesn't give me kisses when I ask for them, but she will always give him kisses.  She points to my belly (and she always has to lift my shirt up to talk to him) and says "Mommy Jee-weet."  I think she's going to be a great big sister.
• She is quite a talker.  Loves talking and loves hearing her voice, I guess.  Babbles but says a lot of real words too.  She must be able to say 70-80 or more words.  She has a very big vocabulary, and even understands abstract ideas, like feelings.  Sometimes we'll be laughing together and she'll sigh and say, "Funny."  Or she understands what "scary" is.  I think she's a very smart girl. I think she'll be an early reader and that she'll be talking quite well by the time she turns 2.
• We really, really, really love this kid.  She makes us laugh all the time and she's the best part of our day.  When she wakes up from naps and we're both home, we always race to her room so we can see her and play with her again.  We love having her as our daughter and she's become the center of our family.  I love her so much.

Blessings

Well, Lila is still on a wonky sleep schedule, but the past few nights haven't been so terrible.  Actually, last night was pretty great.  She did wake up once at midnight (after putting her down at 10) freaking out.  She was really upset and I cradled her and walked her up and down the hallway for a while like she was a little baby, but eventually brought her to bed with us and she slept from then till 7:30.  And then she woke up for a half hour and is now still sleeping.  So, much better.  Monday and Tuesday nights I slept pretty horribly.  Tuesday I was up from 3am-6am, couldn't sleep.  Insomnia.  It was no fun and I was so tired the next day (yesterday).  I slept pretty well last night.

We've been laying low this week.  Monday, Mike came over for a while after work.  He's still conflicted.  Has been thinking about breaking up with Cassandra because she just doesn't seem very... I don't know.  She has a lot of things to work through.  So Mike's been studying the marriage institute manual and praying and talking to family members.  He received an awesome email from Melissa last night.  I'm not quite sure what he'll decide to do, but I sure hope he finds some happiness, even if and even though it will require lots of hard work.  Guy deserves it.

Mike,

Vince and I were talking this evening, and we believe that the single question you have to worry about is this: do you love her? I know you are wondering if you could be happy with someone else, and i have thought on that particular question today a lot because it hasn't sat well with me since you raised it this morning. Vince recalled that once he decided he loved me, everything else didn't matter--the distance apart, the time to wait, the details and logistics, etc. Think of our own ancestors and favorite old testament story of Jacob and Rachel. ;-) Sure Jacob had to wait 14 years for Rachel, but does anyone question whether he loved her? Absolutely not, least of all her, and that was surely a tremendous blessing to them both. If you love her, stand firm--even when it scares you silly. Marriage is an opportunity for two imperfect people to grow towards perfection together. Flaws are inevitable--even the most amazing people have them. Remember carefully every good feeling, every good thing about and every virtuous trait in your sweetheart. Remember that she IS your sweetheart. Remember every inspiration and confirmation you have received about her, and remember why you bought that gorgeous ring in the first place.

This is your decision to make with the Lord, but I do not think a break is a good tool to strengthen or save a relationship. If you love her, stand firm and strong in that love. Move forward together, and learn together how to follow the path you have chosen.

Melissa

I have an awesome family.  I hope that my children love each other and support each other as much as Jake and his siblings do.

Jake and I have spent a lot of time thinking/talking about our own love story this week.  We shared it as part of our little talk at standard's night last night.  Our topic was dating and sexual purity.  I've thought about the first time I met and saw Jake.  Him standing behind the podium at the little Escanaba branch.  I realize now that he was like most RM's -- full of the Spirit, full of energy and love, full of hope and optimism.  At the time, because I was pretty inexperienced, I kind of thought it was singular, unique to him.  But his sincerity and positivity attracted me to him instantly.  I saw that he loved God and he loved obeying the commandments, and I so clearly remember thinking, "That is the kind of man I want to marry."  And it was a crazy rollercoaster ride from that time until we were married, and probably the first year or so of our marriage could count as part of that, but boy, were we in love with each other.  We were crazy, head-over-heels in love.  I wouldn't trade that experience for anything and I value it so much.  We've learned since then, and we've known all along, that marriage is based on much more than that feeling, but I'm so grateful that we experienced that "high."  It bound us together, and even now, I sometimes look at him and remember what it was like when I was 17 and he was 21 and we were so in love.

We sure love each other a lot, that Jake and I.  We laugh together a lot and tease each other a lot.  Last night was our first official date night as part of the babysitting swap.  We dropped Lila off at Alicia's, and I was a little nervous because it was our first time leaving her with non-family.  We've left her with Mike, Emily, and my parents, but never with friends.  She'd had a pretty rough day... hadn't eaten or napped very well, but she was excited to play with "Briggy" (she's been adding -y's to the end of a lot of words now), and I'm okay with her being a little nervous/unsure about being away from Mom.  She needs to get more used to that.  So, we brought her in, made sure to bring some snacks ("conny" or candy, which are fruit snacks), and her blanket.  She was happy to see Brig and they walked over to the sliding glass door and happily started pounding on it together, so we made a run for it when she wasn't looking.

Our date night was the standards night.  It went well.  We were both a little nervous.  We spoke to both parents and youth.  We were only supposed to talk for 5-8 minutes, but I think we spoke twice as long.  But, all three other couples who spoke went over too.  That's just not a lot of time to speak on such serious topics.  There wasn't enough time to have the panel discussion at the end like they had planned, so it ended after everyone spoke, but we'll have the discussion on Sunday during 3rd hour, so that will work well.  It was a good experience for Jake and I, anyway.  I shared Elder Holland's three reasons why it's important to be sexually pure, from his talk "Personal Purity."  And Jake shared some quotes about pornography by Elder Oaks.  This experience has reminded us of why we love the gospel and the standards we're asked to live.  They really do bring us happiness, and not following them really does bring misery.  We are committed to teaching our children the gospel.

Lila did fine at the Thompson's.  She cried for 10 minutes, but that was it.  They had snacks, watched a movie, read books.  Alicia said it was fun to have a kid who talks for a while.  Brig is 21 months old (the age Lila will be when Jared is born) but not talking yet.  So, that's awesome.  I'm proud of Lila.

What else is new... Monday night we took Lila, Toby, and Brody for a walk to see the "cowies" which are actually horses.  Lila gets the two confused a lot. :)  She makes horsey sounds (neighing, really funny).  We sat on Terie's porch after that visiting until the boys had to go in because they weren't listening... riding their bikes onto the road.

It's definitely fall.  The past few days have been chilly.  I'm excited to take Lila to the cider mill, for Halloween, for walks in the leaves, to carve a pumpkin.  I love having Lila around.  She makes life a lot more fun.

And some sad news -- Ben O'Brien (Jake's good friend from church in Petoskey) and his wife were expecting a little girl a few weeks before Jared was due.  She was born on Saturday, stillborn.  So heartbreaking.  It was their first baby.  I'm grateful everytime I feel my little one kick (it's not as often as Lila kicked, not yet anyway), but I pray every day that he'll continue to grow strong and healthy.  Ben's wife shared the news here on their blog.

Defending the Family in a Troubled World

Another awesome talk on defending the family:
Defending the Family in a Troubled World, June 2011 Ensign. Elder Bruce D. Porter of the Seventy.

Read it!

Weekend

Lila's napping and I'm eating lunch.  It's nice to have quiet in the afternoon.  Last night before bed I prayed that Lila's sleeping would get better... that she wouldn't be awake for so long in the night, that she'd start sleeping in longer stretches again, etc.  I also prayed that the transition from one to two babies won't be as horrible as I'm imagining it will be and that we'll get through it by relying on each other and on Him.

Well, last night was a lot better than it has been.  She woke up a few times, but fell back asleep easily.  And she woke up at 7:15, which is way better than 5 or 6 or earlier.  Lately she's been going to bed at 9:30 or 10, so I knew that she'd go back down for at least an hour or two after Jake left for work, and she did.  She slept (and so did I!) from 8-10:20.  It felt amazing.  Jake likes to see her before he goes to work, so it was perfect timing.  I don't know if it'll continue like this, but I would sure love it if it did.  Last night before bed we all took a family walk, and let Lila walk and push the stroller for most of that walk to tire her out.  Maybe that worked!  She absolutely did not want us to help her push that stroller either, and would tell us "no" when we tried.  Funny girl.  We wonder what she'll be like when she's older. :)

Anyway, our weekend was good.  Did the farmer's market and Meijer on Saturday morning.  Mike and Emily came over that night.  Actually Emily went to Lansing for a fireside that started at 7.  Sister Barbara Thompson (one of the counselors in the general RS presidency) and a member of the Primary general presidency spoke.  Mike came over to talk about Cassandra.  Things aren't going as planned... in early August she told him to buy her a ring, and since then, she's become confused (again) and doesn't know what she wants now.  It's been a rough weekend for Mike.  They talked about it last night.  He's going to see where things are at the end of the week, and if she's still undecided, they'll probably break up, for now anyway.  Crazy.  It's brought up a lot of conversations about agency... she's confused about receiving revelation about it vs. making her own decisions.

I was dreading church again on Sunday morning.  It's just so hard to get through and 9:00 seems way too early.  Actually, it's only as we're getting ready and on the way there that I'm a little grumpy, but when we get there it's fine.  But, Jake was awesome and packed me a turkey sandwich, and that helped a lot.  Also, second and third hours were practice for the Primary program, so I got to sit and watch, mostly.  Lila did not want to be in Nursery.  Jake left her in there for like 15 minutes and she cried the whole time.  Sacrament meeting was good.  It's fun to snuggle and play with Lila.  She made it through the whole meeting eating snacks and coloring.

We all got naps after church yesterday, which also helped.  Jake had a stake disciplinary council from 4-7, but Emily came back after she was done with church, so I didn't have to be alone.  She actually spent Saturday night here.  We made potato soup for dinner, and Lila loved it!  I've been trying to do better with dinners lately.  Now that I have a child who actually likes to eat, I feel much more motivated to have better dinners and food available.  I can also see why people start buying in bulk once they have children... we go through a lot more food, even though she's only a toddler still.  We spent most of that time playing outside with Brody and Toby.

After we put Lila to bed, Jake and I sat down and planned out what we're going to talk about at our ward's Youth Standard's Night on Wednesday night.  We were asked to talk briefly about dating and sexual purity.  It will be difficult to be brief, but I think we'll do great.  We're going to talk about "our story," which will at least capture the attention of the Young Women.  And then I'm going to briefly discuss why we need to stay sexually pure (based on Elder Holland's talk "Personal Purity") and Jake is going to talk about pornography.  There will also be a panel discussion where the youth can ask questions.  Should be fun.  For people like Jake and I--who love to give advice and talk about ourselves--it will be fun. :)

Cute things from this weekend:

Jake almost fell off the bed last night after we prayed.  He went to lay down and said, "Woah!" as he almost rolled off.  It was funny.

He wanted to practice putting Lila's hair in pigtails this weekend.  Adorable.  Love him.

24w 1d - Appointment

Had a midwife appointment this morning.  We were late.  Had to wake Lila up at almost 9 because she was still sleeping.  Because she was up from 6-7:30.  She was subsequently tired and emotional during my appointment, but it wasn't terrible.  She just cried and didn't want me to let her down, so I held her the whole time.  Heard the heartbeat and my fundal height was "perfect."  I weighed 122.  When I was this far along with Lila, I weighed 130, so I'm still dong pretty well.  I think the slower weight gain is making a huge difference in how I feel.  So I suspect that I won't be nearly as big at the end... well, the rest of my body... my tummy is huge already, so I think my tummy will be quite large at the end.

He's definitely starting to kick and move around harder.  I still can't decipher body parts, but I think that he's head down, because I'm feeling kicks higher up now.  Lots of punching low down too.  But it's not constant and my belly isn't rolling around yet.  I can see movements from the outside now, which is fun.

I'm feeling really good.  I'm tired, but that's because Lila's been up a lot at night lately.  I think it's her teeth still.  We have a few good days and then a few bad days.  But if it wasn't for Lila, I think I'd be feeling AWESOME.  I think our bed (a tempurpedic) is sooo comfortable and I'm not sore at all.  Hopefully that continues!

Time to change a poopy diaper.

Some Gayan Family History

Written by Lori, Jake's mom. Kezia is Jake's cousin.


Hi Kezia,

OK, your great great grandparents (Jacob Gayan and Sussanna Krinick) on Grandpa Gayan's side were both from Hungary so that would make your great Grandpa Leo Raymond Gayan 100% Hungarian. He married your great grandmother Helen Marshalek who was 100% Polish. Her parents were Andrew Marshalek and Kunagunda Korona. So that makes your grandpa 1/2 hungarian and 1/2 polish.

Your great great great grandparents Dominico Finco and Maria Carli were both from Italy. Which makes your great great grandpa (Benjamin Pious Finco) 100% Italian. He married your great great grandmother (Helen Bongers) who was 100% German, from the information I have available. Her dad was Weilhelm Bongers, mom yet unknown. That makes your great grandpa (Joseph Finco) 50% German, 50% Italian. He married your great grandma (Ailie Elizabeth Erickson) who was 100% Finnish. Her dad was Henry Erickson and mom was Anna Sophia Bertel, making your grandma Gayan 25% German, 25% Italian and 50% Finnish.

So.....your dad and his sisters (your aunts) are 1/4 hungarian, 1/4
polish, 1/8 German 1/8 Italian and 1/4 Finnish.

Glad I went through this exercise. I never stopped to figure this out.

P.S.
I remember being in the Italian Group in Ironwood with my mom. It was
a group that sang and danced to Italian songs.
There was another group that I played the accordion in. It was the
equivalent of the Tamburitzans. The Yugoslav's. Back to our
Hungarian side.
Making pierogi's was from our Polish heritage.
I thought we were more italian.....you know how we love Italian food, Aziago cheese, etc. Did you know that our ancestors were from Aziago, Italy and they still make cheese over there?
Finnish speaks for itself. Could be why we love to sauna!
Lutefisk was a fish dish that was from our Finnish side. My mom's
family would get together and eat it annually.

That's all I can think of now. If anyone has any other ethnic memories, please pass them on to all of us.

Love you.
Aunt Lori


From Aunt Joyce:

Confusion - you know, Grandma Finco always insisted (vehemently) that she was Swedish and NOT Finnish! She said that some people called them Swede-Finns because of the border area she was born, but she would actually get angry if there was any Finnish inference. That's all I know about that. Dad, on the other hand, insisted he was Polish and Slovac. Why do you think there was confusion about this? Or does it come down to my perpetual question - if I was born in China, would I be Chinese? Guess I don't understand all of that and when everything originated. I suppose at one time, people weren't mobile, so it wasn't like the grandparents were born in France, therefore being French, but their kids were born in Italy, therefore being Italian. Can you shed some light on this for me? Isn't it possible that Grandma Erickson-Finco's ancestors were Swedish, but maybe she was born in Finland? Or have you traced this back further and found only the Finnish heritage on her side?

--Joyce

Our Week So Far

Lila is throwing dried beans all over the living room and laughing.  Big mess.  Cute girl.  Oh well.  Last night we babysat Brig Thompson and Ella Tensmeyer.  Us three families are doing a babysitting swap, so two weeks every month, Jake and I will get to go on a date!  Pretty cool.  Neither Alicia or Holly went on a date last night--their husbands were busy--but it gave them some time off, so that's still nice.  It wasn't bad at all. We spent most of the time playing outside with bikes and running around the backyard (the kids and Jake did, not me, that's for sure).  Then we came inside for a snack and then they played with the box of beans.  Brig was throwing them all over the place and having a blast, and the girls were sitting playing nicely and quietly.  I thought, "This will be interesting... having a boy."  And then Lila started throwing them, though not as far or violently, lol.

Ok, now we're in the basement.  Lila's jumping on our little trampoline and watching a PBS show.  We got all ready to go for a walk to see the "cows" (which are actually horses), and then I looked out the window and saw that it's raining.  Bummer.  Earlier this week, I took Lila for walks there and she walked up and down most of the trail.  I did end up having to carry her most of the way back, but it was good exercise for the both of us, and consequently she took good naps.  While we're walking on the trail, Lila goes on and on about cows and moo and flowers.  She's a cute kid.

We've had a pretty laid back week.  It's been kind of depressing I guess to go back to the old grind, not having visitors here.  And the weather has suddenly gotten so much cooler.  It's nice.  It feels like fall!  And that's fun.  Sunday and Monday nights, we had a bon fire at Terie and Steve's house.  Made s'mores and hot dogs and the kids got to play around.  Sunday, Jake had mentioned that he served a 2 year mission in Taiwan, so on Monday Terie started asking us all about the church.  So we talked about the restoration, the first vision, eternal families, etc.  It was really good.  She kept asking us if it was making us uncomfortable, and we're like, "Uhh, no.  Mormons love talking about this stuff."  She said that everything we said seemed to kind of line up or at least fit in with what she personally believed... she isn't a part of any religion right now, but things that she's said in the past make it clear that she is looking and that she believes strongly in God.  So, we'll see where this goes.  It's pretty neat, and we love having them as neighbors.

Oh, so Monday was Labor Day.  It was nice having Jake home for an extra day.  We had a lot planned, but didn't get to everything we'd wanted to.  Jake did mow the lawn in the morning while I took Lila for a walk to see the horses.  By the time Lila and I got back, he had finished the lawn, which is great.  We love that lawn mower!  Lila took a long nap (3+ hours), Jake and I bummed around instead of doing chores... then we went to Menards where it took him forever to pick out some lawn and garden items and where Lila was fascinated with the Halloween decorations... then to Pizza Hut to pick up a pizza.

Now it's 10:14 pm.  Jake's at his meeting.  Lila's sleeping.  Emily just left for Battle Creek.  It's been a pretty good day.  Lila and I slept till 9 (but we were up from 5:30-7 or something), played in the house this morning since it was raining, went to Kohl's with Emily where we found Lila some REAL pants, not just leggings or sweatpants.  I'm very excited about this.  What's funny is that they're size 18mo.  I tried putting her in the exact same pants this spring, size 2T, but her thighs were too chubby and the pants wouldn't fit over them. lol.  But she's definitely slimming down.  It's funny that she's wearing the size appropriate for her age... that hasn't happened since she was less than a month old!

We got home, made a quick dinner for Jake before he had to leave for his meeting.  I'm bummed because he can't come to the midwife appointment tomorrow morning.  Oh well.  This is the first one he'll have ever missed!  Took Lila outside to play and to go for a short walk after dinner because it wasn't raining.  Emily gave her a bath (she loves giving Lila baths).  We danced around with Lila, she likes to try to jump.  Fed her some yogurt, and she actually ate it... because I mixed in a little powdered sugar to make it sweeter.  She's so much fun right now.  Always talking up a storm, always has something to say, and usually sounds very urgent and serious.  She's goofy too though, loves to play with Daddy and loves being tickled.  She's such a good girl.  She got worried when I left the fitting room at Kohl's today, I left her with Nemmy.  Em said she kept saying, "Mommy coming?  Mommy coming?"

Yesterday morning I went to Tyler and Desiree's to pick up baby boy clothes.  I got a TON of stuff--a whole garbage bag full of clothes and a few blankets.  I have a ton of 0-3 month stuff... Lila grew out of that size very quickly, I think by the time she was a month old, so we'll see how long Jared is in it.  And I got a bunch of 3-6 month too, so I won't have to buy very much for a while.  And I don't want to buy too much in advance, because I don't know what size he'll be at what time of year.  But, this is a big help.  She even gave me the baby swing, Kari's old one, that Lila used when she was a baby.  After that we got to have lunch with Jake, which was nice.

Anyway.  I guess that's all.  Things are going well.  Just tired lately and really looking forward to the weekend.

thoughts

Things are going well.  Jake and I have been getting along really well lately.  I think it's that thing that happens when I'm pregnant... I just really, really love him.  Love being around him, love being near him, love most things about him.  He's been really good to me too.

A book that is circulating the Betzold family right now is Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."  Jim (brother) suggested it to Mike.  The title sounds pretty... sexist, but it's actually an awesome book and very in line with gospel principles.  Dr. Laura really stands up against the downside of the feminist movement--women thinking that they don't need a husband or family, not having the right priorities, etc.  One of my favorite quotes in the book so far (I only got less than half-way through before I gave it back to Mike, so that he could give it to Cassandra...) is this --

     "No, I probably will not be writing about the care and feeding of wives.  Why?  Because the truth is that when it comes to home and relationships, women rule.  This is a book about how to rule wisely and lovingly.  If a woman does not marry a sociopath or narcissist, then she's got her basic 'male package.'  And your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife's hero, to be his wife's dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired, and appreciated.  Men live to make their women happy.

     "The cruelest thing a wife can do to a husband is to never be happy.  And don't forget, being happy is more an attitude than a reality.  When things are going bad, when there are problems and challenges, disappointments and disasters, it is obvious that happiness is going to be undermined.  However, when one looks for that little peek-hole in the sky where the sun does shine through, then it is a lovely day.

     "And it becomes a lovely day for everyone you touch." 

I've heard this many times... that women set the tone of the home, that they have a huge impact in the home, etc.  But this just put it in a way that I've never really thought of before.  And then it made me think that I must be doing something right.  It's easy, after a while, to think that we have a happy marriage, home, and family because that's the way it naturally is.  But really, it must be because I work hard at making it this way.  And I'm not perfect, but I do try and my efforts are bearing fruit.  The love, happiness, and peace that is in my home are gifts from God, but also a result of my work.  I create these feelings and this atmosphere.  And I'm so grateful to be a woman, wife, and mother.  Reminds me of that talk President Uchtdorf gave a few years ago to the Relief Society --

      "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
     ... To what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
     If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
     You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.  The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."

parents visit continued

Thursday was Emily's first day of dental hygiene school.  In the afternoon, we drove to Battle Creek to visit her.  We went to her house for a while, Mom helped her finish unpacking.  Then we stopped at her school so that my mom could see it.  Saw the dental clinic.  Jake was home when we got back and we got to spend a bit of time with him before he left for his long meeting.  I waited for him to go to bed, so we didn't get to sleep till after midnight.  It was an awful night of sleep... Lila was up from 3-5am. Screaming.  I was able to sleep in until 10 the next morning because my parents were here to watch Lila.  Thankfully.

On Thursday, Jake took the 4-Runner to the Toyota dealership to have a bearing replaced.  It cost around $550.  The mechanic tried to trick him out of more money.  He was pretty mad about that.  And, it didn't fix the weird noise and vibrating that was happening with the 4Runner.  So he spent a lot of time trying to figure that out.

On Friday, went to put lila down for nap at 11:15, she was really tired.  As I was about to leave to pick up Jake so we could take his car to Muffler Man, she woke up.  Grr.  So I just left her with mom and and figured/hoped she would nap when I got back.  Then the car wouldn't start and I cried because I just wanted to see Jake and I was really tired.  It worked out, though.  Got it started, picked Jake up, got things taken care of.  Jake wanted them to have the U-Joint replaced, but the mechanics said that they were 90% sure that wasn't the problem.  So instead, Jake had them replace the muffler, which needed to be done anyway.  I talked to Mike while Jake was in the shop.  He's having Cassandra problems, as always... but he was on his way to Toronto for the long weekend.

Lila napped well later that day.  Jake got home and immediately started testing different things on the 4-Runner to figure out what was really wrong, and it ended up definitely being the U-Joint.  Aunt Gina came to visit for a while.  Kate Whitaker stopped by and we visited with her too.  

Friday night we slept very well.  Well, Lila did.  I was still up a lot, but got some good rest.   On Saturday morning, Jake and I dropped off his car (again) at Muffler Man so that they could fix the U-Joint, left Lila with Mom and Dad.  Then he and I cleaned at church for a while--we switched weeks with Sean Randall--picked the easiest job (trash cans).  Then went to lowe's for paint, then picked up (free) donuts for my parents.  We took Dad and Lila to the farmer's market and had pulled pork.  Mom and Em went to Kohl's.  Jake and I got to cuddle while Lila took a nap, watched Mad Men.  They took Lila to the mall in the afternoon so Jake and I could start painting our room.  It would've gone much smoother if would've started earlier in the day.  We were tired.  Jake spilled paint a few times.  We went against "the plan" and he was frustrated about that eventually.  ("The plan" is to do all of the edging first and then do the rolling, to make sure that we get everything done that we need to.)  But, it all got done.  Lila went to bed in her own room.  She's still been sleeping with us, but with the painting we needed to finish up, we put her in her own room and she slept great.  She was up again for 2 hours in the middle of the night, and I don't know what that's all about.  After I gave her some food she fell asleep, so maybe she was hungry.

Lila did great with my parents and Emily, loved them and didn't get nervous around them.  She still loved to see me after we were apart.  I've never spent so much time away from her.  It's good for her though, and it's good for me.  Good for me to let go just a little bit, and let her be okay with other people.

My parents left Sunday morning at around 10:00.  Lila slept till 8:30 (she had been up again in the middle of the night).  We had church at 9:00 so it was a quick goodbye.  My mom cried, said she loved Lila so much.  She's going to miss her.  I cried on the way to church.  I was so tired and didn't feel well, and was sad that my parents were leaving.  I was also really not looking forward to church.  As it was when I was pregnant with Lila, church is difficult.  Especially in Primary.  I need to have a better attitude about it, but it's just so exhausting.  Jake took Lila to Nursery for a while.  He was in there the whole time, but she freaked out after a while, especially because I was holding another little boy.

Got home.  Took naps.  Took Lila for a walk, ran into Kate who was walking George, so we all walked together.  Visited with Justin and his son Cameron across the street.  Had dinner.  And then we went to a bonfire at Terie and Steve's next door.  Lila loved playing around with the boys and had her first s'more.  It was a cool night, perfect for a fire.