Our only plans for the day were to go to dinner with Mike. He didn't use the $150 from work to pay for lunch the day before, so still had that to use up. So we spent the morning and afternoon unpacking and cleaning. Lila didn't nap well at all. She took two 20-30 minute naps and that was all.
More big news for Mike though: he spent almost 12 hours with Cassandra that day! Add that to the 10 hours he spent with her the day before, and they spent almost 24 hours together in just the first days of knowing each other! Not bad at all!
He played Ultimate Frisbee with her, her siblings, and some other people from church at 10. Apparently he wasn't very good (he told us he wasn't). What's funny is that he keeps a frisbee in his Sequoia for his young men and that's the first thing she saw and commented on the frisbee and how she really liked that he had one.
He then went over to the Lillrose's to help Cassandra fix/replace the headlights on her car. He had breakfast with the family (pancakes). Nick MacIntosh and Brian Gilbert were also there for a while, helping with yard work. He was really impressed with her knowledge of and interest in cars and how she actually knew what she was doing and was capable of doing hard work (opposite of Kalina).
He said they joked around a lot and that he really likes her sense of humor and personality. At one point during the day, he told her he thinks she is a really awesome/amazing girl. She said, "Why? Just because I can get some car grease on my face?" And he said, "No, that's just a very small part of it."
So at the NYE party he told her that he still had the $150 to use and why, and asked if she'd like to go to dinner with us. She said, "Yes!" all excited. But then as it got closer to dinner time, she told Mike that since it was her last night in town, her mom would probably get upset if she didn't have dinner with them, so she should probably stay home. But then she said that going out to dinner with Mike and us would be a lot of fun and she wanted to, so that she would talk with her mom and try to work something out. Mike thought that was weird and a bad thing, but Jake and I told him we were both really impressed by how she handled that. And I told him I can relate to that, because my mom's pretty touchy about things like that too. Cassandra's mom is one of the reasons why she (Cassandra) has a hard time with relationships.
Anyway, we did all go out to eat together. It was a little tricky finding a place that was open on New Year's Day, but we did after driving around a little. Mike and Cassandra met us there, so they got some nice one-on-one time together. We ate at Zazio's, which is a fancy Italian place inside the Radisson downtown. Jake and Mike ordered $30 entrees (some kind of steak, gnocci, mushroom meal) and I had ravioli and Cassandra had some kind of pasta too. I was worried that Lila would be clingy and fussy because she hadn't napped well, but she was awesome! Sat in her highchair cheerfully almost the entire time. Cassandra is really good with Lila. I was really tired... it probably would have been a lot more fun (for me, anyway) if I wasn't so tired. Conversation was still pretty good and we had some laughs, but there was definitely less energy than at lunch the day before. We had dessert too-- gelato and also some fancy desserts. Good times.
Mike opened car doors for her and also helped her get seated at the table (pulled the chair out for her). Impressive.
So, he dropped her off and then came over to "dish" about the day. He wasn't like super excited about it because he kind of expected Cassandra to be really flirtatious and overtly interested in him and was disappointed that she wasn't. BUT, the awesome news is that their goodbye hug lasted a minute or more! She was resting her head on his chest. We told him that's a really good sign. They talked about her going to Petoskey with him sometime. He later texted me about how he's feeling --
Mike: Well. It's weird. I'm kind of like doubting Thomas where I need her to verbally and indisputably express her interest in me. On the other hand, maybe I just need to have a little more faith in what she has expressed thus far. The problem is that I can see her saying these same things to everyone. But... I do like the feelings I get about her. They are definitely different from what I'm used to feeling. They are much more sincere and much happier. They are much more deeply rooted and much less like the feelings of worldly or temporary happiness.
Rudi: Yeah, this is entirely new territory (Canada joke). She operates a lot differently than Kalina. But I think that this (how Cassandra is acting, who she is) is what you want: an intelligent woman who respects herself enough to not "give away the milk for free." This will really require you to take the time needed to develop a deep friendship. Definitely a good thing. Not a bad thing, just different than what you're used to.
Mike: Yeah, I agree. It's been difficult to put my thinking into that mindset. Rather than "she's interested so let's date and be a couple" it's actually "she's interested and wants to get to know you better. And once she's comfortable with who you are and that you have what she's looking for, then she'll want to get serious with you." So... we'll see. It will take some time. But that's okay, I have a little bit of time.
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