Mike Update

Here's how his date went (he sent out this email Friday morning, after his date with Cassandra, to the whole family):

Okay, So Cassandy and I went out last night. I picked her up at 7:05. It was really nice that my HAZWOPER training in Bay City got out early and that I don’t live as far from Bay City as I thought I did, because that gave me some extra time to get home, shower, and be cool. Her mom answered the door. Cassandra was just finishing gluing some piano keys for her mother. Her mom and I talked for a little bit. She was pretty cool. We talked about Petoskey a little bit. It turns out that she used to nanny in Harbor Springs for the children of Grandpa Bud’s brother. So, she threw some names around that she thought we both might know such as the Waters and the Howses. She was pretty impressed to learn that Jake worked at the Fudge Shop. We also talked about musical talent; that Jake and I were in percussion, that Jake is an amazing drummer, that Jim and I play guitar, and that we used to rock out in our room, the garage. When Cassandra finished up with her glue, we took off to the Millennium Park skate rink in Kalamazoo. There was some special Mascot activity night going on, so the mascots from the K-Wings (Kalamazoo hockey team), Little Caesar’s, Sonic drive-thru, Crispy the Celery stalk, McGruff the crime dog, and a few others were all there out on the ice. Neither of us had gone skating in a long time, so we took it easy, just following the flow of traffic. Then we taught ourselves how to skate backwards…not very effective at this point, but I’m sure it won’t take much to get better. Then we figured out how to spin in a circle individually and as a couple (where you skate towards each other in opposite direction, lock arms, and spin around in a stationary circle. It was fun. At one point, I grabbed her hand and skated with her, but that only lasted about 15 second, because she stumbled and pulled her hand away. On purpose? Maybe. There was a map just outside of the skating rink that showed all of the parks and biking/walking trails in the immediate area, so we were taking a look at that as this older fellow who works for the parks walked over and started talking to us. Cassandra asked some questions about the parks in the area, so he told us which trails were plowed, which ones were lit, and how to get into them after the gates are closed at dark. Nice guy. After skating was over we went up to Panera to get some hot chocolate. We also got a “Fresh Fruit Cup” and the girls there saw us talking to Emily Ollero, who was working at the time, and they offered us a couple cups of free orange juice. Apparently it was just extra stuff that was going to go to waste. We grabbed the goods and off we went to drive around to find some trees still covered with ice from the recent ice storm. We drove all over the place, out in the country, talking about valuable topics that helped to let each other know where we stand spiritually. She asked about Dan, because she knows that he was living with me, so we talked about him for a bit and how sad it is to see guys like him and friends like Dave Waters fall away from the church. We also talked about all the blessings and happiness that come from living the gospel and how there are so many people who want that happiness, and some even know that they can have it, but they still reject it. I also asked questions about her parents to get an idea for what they are like and what her perceptions are of them. It went really well. We also covered the topic of having a stay-at-home mom and she made it clear that she really wants to be a stay-at-home mom. She sees the value in family development that directly correlates with having a mother at home. My conclusion on all this is that we’re at the same place and have the same goals as far as things such as church, family, and the home go. That is surprisingly not really an easy thing to find these days.

After we got back to her house at the end of the night, we sat in the Sequoia and just talked for a bit. She’s not planning on going to the YSA dance in Bloomfield Hills this Saturday, but she is going to a dance in Toronto tonight (Friday night). She’s helping a friend put on some sort of a scout dinner Saturday night, and she wasn’t too interested in changing those plans around. Not really a bad thing. I asked her when she’d be back next. She said that Savannah is speaking the second weekend in March and that she really wants to come back for that. There will also be contra-dancing that weekend, so I’m sure it’s a partial motivator for making it back. Then she said that she has a friend whose wedding reception will be in Kalamazoo the following weekend. She also threw in there that another friend is coming out from Colorado “Because he’s never been to Michigan before, so he’s coming out to see what Michigan is like.” Lame. Well then I started asking questions about this friend of hers who is getting married. Apparently Cassandra grew up through YW with this girl, Sarina Baker. So she told me that “Sarina’s parents went through a really bad divorce and I don’t think they even know where her dad is now.” Well, this opened the door. So, I let her finish talking about Sarina and then I said “So, did you know that I’m divorced?” Now, I thought she said “No…what do you think about that?” But, it’s possible that she didn’t say “no” and that I just imagined it because it seemed to fit with her response. So, I told her that it was difficult to go through and that apparently “my ex-wife didn’t realize the importance of keeping commandments, covenants, and being faithful; because it is important.” She asked when it happened, so I told her that Kalina asked for a divorce on September 23rd and that it was done with on December 20th. She said “Wow, that’s fast.” I replied “Well, that’s what happens when you have a brother who is a lawyer and when something needs to happen fast. She had already moved out and did not want to change.” I also told her “I did everything that I possibly could to preserve our marriage, even after I found out that she had been unfaithful. I did everything possible, and she still wanted to keep doing what she was doing.” Cassandra asked “Do you think she’ll ever come back? Do you think she’ll ever be active in church again?” So I told her that Kalina showed up at church twice since the divorce, but that she doesn’t seem to be there for her, but more so to elevate her outward appearance. Oh, and I didn’t actually mention Kalina’s name at all through all this. Cassandra said “Well, I haven’t been through this, but it must have been so difficult, and probably still is. I know that for me it would take a long time to get over something like that. How long were you guys married?” I said “Three and three-quarters of a year. And it is hard sometimes when I think about it, I can get some negative feelings and thoughts, but when I don’t think about it, I don’t get those feelings; not that I’m trying to avoid it, but it’s part of the process.” And Cassandra added “Yeah, just moving forward, what else can you do, right?” I said “Yep, moving forward. But Heavenly Father has definitely blessed me with an awesome family and some great friends who have really helped me along the way. He definitely knows our trials well before we go through them, and He put’s the people that we need in our lives to help us overcome them.” When she had asked if I thought Kalina would come back, I did say that I hope that she does at some point, but only in the same way that I hope Dan, Dave Waters, or any of God’s children turn to the gospel to enrich their lives. I think that the conversation went really well. So, it was about 1am by that time. We got out of my Sequoia, hugged, she thanked me for taking her skating and said that it was a lot of fun. Then she remembered to grab her gloves and ear muffs from my car, so she did. I gave her another hug, she said “thanks for telling me about your ex-wife.” I said “you’re welcome. Thanks for going out with me tonight, I had a lot of fun and I hope that we can go out again.” She said “Oh, I’m sure that we will. Drive safely, and have fun in San Diego next week.” We said goodbye, and that ended the night.

This morning, I received an email from her. I was shocked to get this, but here’s what it said :

Hey Mike!

Thanks again for the fun times last night, sure enjoyed it.

fyi: I already knew you were divorced. wondered when/how you'd tell me that. actaully, I won a bet over it, so you owe a couple of us some Culver's shakes... :)

Have fun in California!

-Cassandra

Go figure. She got me on that one. And she spelt actually wrong. Slam! What a girl.

So then he had to spend a lot of time trying to interpret her email. Sounds pretty rude, right? Here's Dad's thoughts on it:

I think the way she handled it does show insensitivity. But not meaness. If she had gone through a divorce she would be pre-disposed to genuine empathy on the subject.

We know you and love you so when You were going through it (and even now) we felt (and feel) a portion of the hurt, betrayal and huge sadness that you felt (and feel). I mean if you think about it you will recall us expressing anger and disgust to you towards Kalina. And we hurt and cried too. And prayed much on your behalf. And fasted. And put your name in the temple. It was and is a traumatic thing to see those you love going through pain and sorrow.

I recall as a BP being taught by an LDS social services Rep, in a BP training session, that the worst thing you can say in counseling someone is "I know how you feel" and the second worst thing is "I know exactly how you feel". Yet we suffered with you and did and do in large measure know how you feel. We know your heart. We know you.

Cassandra is just getting to know you. She couldn't possible relate in the same way yet. I would have expected more empathy to be exhibited but her life experiences haven't put her there yet. I agree with Jake I think she did feel some guilt and she wanted to come clean in some way. I think that's because she realized you're the real deal and she cheapened herself and your ordeal by not being honest about her foreknowledge.

If she intends on seeing you more, my guess is she wants to, she'll become even more convinced you are the real deal, the kind of guy she wants to be with. She'll also recognize more clearly she was insensitive and she'll vow to herself to do better with that.

I'd chalk it up to her lack of experience. She's gaining wisdom as she goes. Hopefully we all are.

If she doesn't want to see more of you.... You just keep being who you are.

"There is a plan, and it's unfolding"

My thoughts:

Amen and Amen. Good stuff, Dad.

I mentioned in a text earlier that marriage (to a good man) helps a woman mature. I was very inexperienced and young and immature when I got married. (Granted, I was 18, and that's to be expected, but I was still all of those things.) I count it as the greatest blessing of my life that I married a man who saw the potential in me and had faith in me and built me up. Jake has been so patient and loving with me as I've learned and grown through life's experiences. As a general rule, look for a solid foundation of faith, affection, and goodness in the women you date, but also remember the potential that she has and that you can help cultivate. Your future wife will do the same for you. Remember that most people your age haven't gone through such a life-altering experience.

I think it shows a great degree of maturity for her to take a "risk" on someone she knows has been divorced. I know it's unfair, but there is a degree of "taboo" around the label of divorce. Especially in Mormon culture, where so much emphasis is placed on forever families. There was a time in my life where I wouldn't have considered dating someone who was divorced (back when I was young and inexperienced). So I give her a lot of credit and I think it says a lot about her that she's still wanting to get to know you to find out for herself that you're the "real deal."

Mike's thoughts:

I'm thinking of a response along the lines of "wait a minute, there was a bet placed on me, and somehow I end up being the one to buy shakes? I'll spring for Culvers, but I'm gonna need to know who I'm buying shakes for and what the terms of this bet were."

Is that too friend-zoneish? I was trying to determine if I've been put in the friend zone already. And although it seems like I have, there is a good potential explanation for all this that puts me not in the friend zone. You see, Melissa and I were discussing what my response should be, and I said "maybe I should just be me, and be straight with her, and say "well, that's a little insensitive. What gives?" and then we thought: is Cassandra actually just being straight and candid with me? Is this just the real her, and she wants it to be made known, and she wants to see the real me and not some powder puff version of me? If so, here's what makes sense: first off, she has known about the divorce for a while, so she's already had some time to process it, and now it makes sense why it felt like she was exercising a significant degree of caution. Because she was. But she still wanted to see when and how this divorce thing would come up to maybe make heads or tails of it. Because she's known about it for a while, it was easy for her to make light of it this morning. Also, telling me about this guy coming out in a few weeks: maybe that was her way of clearing the air because she knew that it was going to happen and that I would find out, and she wanted to be sure and forewarn me...either to avoid my hurt feelings, or to minimalize the significance of his visit. Maybe because she doesn't want to blow her chances with me just yet. Anyhow, her email this morning makes sense if instead of interpreting it as being insensitive and immature it is interpreted as being cool about the situation without being totally weird. And it shows that she recognizes that life happens and rather than dwell on it like Kalina would, she moves forward and past it. It does still feel a little friend-zoneish, but it really might not be. What do you think?

And then mine:

I definitely don't think you're in the friend zone. The girl has plenty of friends, why would she want to spend time with you, alone, if she wasn't at least a little romantically interested in you? Girls just don't do that... if she would have suggested bringing her sisters along, I'd say you were in the friend zone. But girls don't hang out with guys alone if they're just in the friend zone. At least not so early on in a relationship.

That you guys talked about family backgrounds, goals is really good. Her asking about Dan is a good thing... wanting to know more about your family, especially a wayward family member, is her trying to get information about you and how you deal with that...

the friend from colorado... I think the points you made about that were right.

It's interesting that when she was telling you about Serena she mentioned that Serena's parents are divorced. It's pretty well-known in the Stake that it was a messy divorce, and Serena's mom is very active and well-known too (she's the RS president in one of the Kzoo wards). But it's kind of a random fact to add in there, and I wonder if that was Cassandra trying to give you a chance to talk about it, to see if you would.

She asked you when the divorce happened... how long you were married... she's curious. She's trying to put together your story and the timeline. And that could be important information because it then gives her a better idea of when you'll be "ready" to be in a relationship again. She mentioned that it would take her a long time to get over it... she recognizes the need you have to heal from that, and that it can't be done in a few months. The fact that she pulled her hand away (or stumbled, or whatever) when you were ice skating is significant and I think she probably did it on purpose. I think she's trying to give you sufficient space and time to heal, while still maintaining a friendship. I think once more time has passed, maybe even after a year, she'll want to start actually dating.
  
"thanks for telling me about your ex-wife." she values openness and honesty. she recognizes it was a big step for you to do that. it was a sensitive thing of her to do, which makes the email she sent you this morning this morning seem less insensitive.

the email this morning is a GOOD thing. "wondered when/how you'd tell me that." if you were in the friend zone, it wouldn't really matter to her, this wouldn't really be an issue. but this indicates that she's been thinking about you, your situation, your relationship with her, the future of your relationship, etc. she realizes that there is something between you, because she realizes that it was a big/important/necessary thing for you to tell her... and not just to tell her, but when and how you told her was important too.

Culver's shakes/the bet: I would assume that she's talking about her sisters. I wonder when she found out that you were divorced. If it was right after you guys met and if that's why she suddenly stopped writing. Or if it was after you told some people at Ultimate Frisbee (Christian Green, Preston, etc.). I can't imagine her talking and joking about it with people other than her family... but who knows. The fact that she and whoever she was talking about it with made light of it by joking about it instead of it being a serious, weird issue is good!

As far as your response to her email... the one you wrote ( "wait a minute, there was a bet placed on me, and somehow I end up being the one to buy shakes? I'll spring for Culvers, but I'm gonna need to know who I'm buying shakes for and what the terms of this bet were.) seems a little too... mean? haha. Her email wasn't the "nicest" either, but I think it was her way of saying that she's ok with it. Maybe say something like, "Culvers it is. I'll be interested to find out who else was betting on me." It shows that you have a good sense of humor, that you're interested in finding about more about the bet... but since she doesn't have a great history of writing you back (maybe it's her way of giving both you and her some space and time), to put it in a statement makes it less awkward than asking a question, in case she doesn't want to write back (to give you some space/time to heal).

He wrote Cassandra a short response. And then Sunday he wrote this to me:

So I was thinking about Cassandra and some of the hurdles that might exist should things ever move forward between us. And I mean really move forward. So, this really isn't relevant right now, and may never become relevant, but I do believe that considering these things is productive for the sake of figuring out what I do and don't want in my eternal mate.

Facebook friends. This girl has 900 some friends on Facebook, many of whom are guys. How much would she have to change her ways to pull her communication away from them and toward me? I guess that is one of the reasons for a lengthy courtship. But I imagine that it could be hard for someone who is a social butterfly such as her to retract from so much of her social "spread." She knows and is friends with a lot of guys. Would she just up and cut that off? How many guys would i be competing with? How many guys would still be sending her facebook messages every day? This may sound like "unproductive worry," but I'm really not worried here. I'm just trying to determine what my definition of the pinnacle of perfection is.

The boss. Bossy boss. I wonder why Cassandra thinks that her sisters would say that she's bossy. I don't want a bossy wife, i want a loving companion. And maybe if there is some bossiness there, Lund could help alleviate it. But I do want my wife to be driven.

I think about Sammi. She seems to be very low key compared to Cassandra, but equally talented, driven, and amazing. Nope, she doesn't have the facebook account with a thousand friends, and she hasn't dated every guy in the stake and from every EFY, but I think she has (obviously I'm really far from actually knowing this) what I am looking for in a wife. Those same things that attract me to Cassandra. So, would i prefer the girl that has all the things i want plus all sorts of other relationships and friendships with people that i may never meet, or the girl who has what I want, but will be building her friendship with ME and not the rest of the world too? It's hard to say. I don't know (not to be selfish or controlling here, but I'm just trying to be honest) if I could handle my wife having all sorts of guy friends that I'm not really privy to. And even if I am, her talking to another guy is her not talking to me. There is certainly potential for her to just kick all those friend-zoners out of her life, but it might actually be a big trial. She could also do it, but have it not last, and then go back to playing the friend-zone field again, because those guys are all just the gay friends, what's the harm in that? That was sarcastic of course.

On the phone with you now...not going to add anything here, because I don't know what to add.

It can get pretty old sometimes how much he needs to analyze things, but Jake talked to him on the phone after that and just empathized with him. Jake was awesome--he's learned a lot since marrying me. :) I realized that Mike's just in a lot of pain right now and very lonely, so I wasn't as annoyed and wrote this back:

Hey Mike,

I think it's really good that you're thinking of these things. Like you said, they might end up not being relevant with Cassandra (or Sammi), but it's got you thinking about things you want and need in a mate. It's definitely apparent that Kalina really did a number on you. You have a lot of trust issues... how you're worried that Cassandra might not be able to cut off friendships with guys, her relationships on Facebook, not wanting her (or I'm guessing any woman you date/marry) to carry on friendships with men outside of your marriage. It's interesting, because honestly, it was never, ever--and it never has been--a concern of mine or Jake's that we would cheat on each other. The thought never enters our minds. I'm wondering if this is something you've always worried about, even before you were in a relationship with Kalina? Like with your past girlfriends. Your trust issues are something you'll have to work through. It's totally and completely normal and understandable that you would have them, given what Kalina did to you. She really messed with your mind! Reading about some of your concerns that you have about Cass/Sam, it's really evident that she did. I think it's a blessing that Heavenly Father is giving you time to heal and sort through a lot of these things before you're actually in a relationship with someone.

You mentioned having a lengthy courtship in your email... I think that with whoever you date, it will probably be important for your own peace of mind to take your time so that you can build a strong foundation of trust with your future wife. So that you really get to know her and her family and feel comfortable with them, and know that she would never leave you. Like I said... I know that Jake would never leave me. Even when we were dating, I knew it, and it's because we took time to get to know each other. And I'm not recommending that you date/court her for an X amount of time. I know that you won't rush things and that you'll be smart about everything... I just think it's important to know that time heals things and that, hopefully, a lot of these concerns and heartaches you have will be remedied with time.

As you are dating your future wife, you will come to a point where you will get to bring these concerns to the table. (Both general and specific concerns... general concerns=not feeling comfortable with friendships with men outside of marriage, etc). You will get a chance to communicate these issues. Remember that your future wife--whoever she is--will sincerely care about you and your feelings. She will treat you with compassion and mercy, and take the concerns that you have seriously. You will recognize that sincerity when you see it. You probably did not receive much of that (that kind of love/sincerity/compassion) from Kalina, and so maybe it's hard for you to realize that that's what (good) wives do: we treat our husbands with compassion and protect them and their feelings. Reminds me of something I read recently while studying Adam and Eve. We know that Eve is referred to as a help meet for Adam. Here's a quote about the phrase "help meet" --

The word help is translated from a Hebrew root meaning "to surround, to protect, and to aid." We have a stereotype of the man as the protector, but the wife also surrounds, protects, and aids her husband. The spirit and influence of wives and mothers make our homes places where we are surrounded by peace and love and protected from the contention, temptations, and opposition of the world. In this context, meet means "equal to, suitable for, becoming, right, fit, worthy, sufficient, competent, well-placed, necessary, proper, fulfilling, and satisfying. Eve was all of this to Adam. She was equal to him. She was suitable, becoming, and of value. Her help and companionship were right. She was fit, worthy, sufficient, and competent. She was well-placed beside Adam, a necessary and proper companion. Her help was fulfilling and brought satisfaction.

Have faith that you will find a woman like that. I know that you will.

About your specific concerns with Cassandra:

The friends on Facebook--I know Facebook played a significant role in the downfall of your marriage to Kalina, but I wouldn't worry about it too much with Cassandra. I'm sure that most people on her Facebook she barely ever communicates with. I know you're pretty selective with who you become friends with on Facebook, but a lot of people aren't. I don't care about or communicate with probably half of my Facebook friends. You can share passwords with your significant other. The woman who you'll marry will not have serious friendships with men outside of marriage... as you are dating her it should naturally happen for her to just stop talking with other guys. I also doubt that your wife will have a bunch of friendships that you're not privy too... because your standards are pretty high (you're not going to settle this time ;). You will weed out the "losers" in the dating process.

Bossy-ness--it is really normal for older siblings to "boss" younger ones around. I'm sure Emily would call me bossy too. And I've seen you boss Dan around a number of times :) So, don't hold that against her.

I truthfully don't know Sammi well at all, so I can't really give much of an opinion there. I do know that she intends on going on a mission, and I hope that she does get to. I think you should continue to be friends with her, but wouldn't encourage you to pursue anything with her. Just let things happen naturally.

One more thought. A while ago I was reading on an LDS parenting blog. A mom wrote in to say that she was terribly lonely because her husband worked a lot and she had a toddler and didn't have many friends. I could relate to her... sometimes mothering can be pretty lonely, when you're at home a lot. I loved the advice that was given by a mom of 11 children --

I've discovered over my lifetime, that there are some lonely seasons. I've gone through them. I've watched my children go through them. I think they serve a purpose. We really learn compassion when we experience that isolated feeling. We don't like to see someone sitting alone. We are motivated to teach our children how to notice and include people. But more than even these valuable lessons, I think we really discover the reality of a Heavenly Father. I've never felt closer to him than during those times when I've run out of places to turn. The more lonely I've felt, the more open I've been to his love. Maybe it's just that we have to be really empty before we recognize how it feels to be filled. Certainly, those times of isolation and need have deepened my testimony more than the times of feast.

You're definitely in the midst of a lonely season, but remember that it's only a short season of your life. Learn from it what you can; I know you're working very hard to do just that. Heavenly Father is working miracles in your life every day and someday you'll see that all of your experiences, the good and the bad, will lead you to your future wife. It will be worth the wait!

Hope you had a good flight.

And then this morning, his reply was:

Thanks for the lengthy reply. There's a lot in there. It's constructive.

I was never worried about my wife cheating on me. There was that weird thing where she seemed to start having feelings (maybe just feelings of empathy) for that guy by the name of Jake who worked at Shopko and showed up at the Comfort Inn one night, talking with Kal about stuff on a pretty personal level. I had feelings of jealousy at the time, because this was all new to me and something didn't feel right about it. Now I know that it shouldn't have been okay with her for this guy to show up and shoot the breeze for several hours. I usually sense very quickly when I'm talking to someone I shouldn't be talking to or when I'm somewhere I shouldn't be. She must have ignored those feelings when they came to her, or she just didn't recognize them. But, never ever was I concerned about her cheating on me. Yep, no doubt this is a trust issue. And I don't know how it can be rebuilt without being in another relationship. But that's okay, because I can take the time necessary to rebuild it when the opportunity arises. I do think that you are right, that I never (other than while dating I guess) really felt the love, compassion, and sincerity that is meant to be felt in a marriage. What a lame relationship to have. I am excited to have love, compassion, and sincerity in my marriage and to be able to have someone else feel love, compassion, and sincerity through my love. I need me an Eve :)

I had an impression/feeling tonight that I'd like to share. After boarding my flight, I re-read that weird email Cassandra sent me. I felt like I needed to see if there was something I was missing from it or something i didn't pick up on. I've already read it several times using different tones in my head to see if it would make better sense when read with one tone of voice instead of another. After I read it a time or two, it didn't mean anything different, but I got the feeling (received an impression) that said "hey, this girl likes you. She likes you." This feeling came with a dose of peace. It was unique and it spoke peace to my mind. I felt calm. And then my mind was free to move on to other things. I pulled out my iPod, listened to some Lund, then moved onto my iPad, watched some Psych, and then I tried to catch some z's. Not exactly a comfortable flight, but it was decent.

When I landed in San Diego, i went to the baggage claim with Matt and Marlin. I was sitting down, whipped out my ipad, and checked my email. Alas, a reply from Cassandra that was sent only minutes before. Literally, minutes. It's nothing spectacular, but it is something. Finally! And what's really neat is that I'm now friends with Michelle and Jessica on Facebook. I think this is good...Being friends with the friends. Here's what Cassandra had to say:

Wow, some of those [pictures] turned out pretty good! some others...not so much...might need replacing.

You actaully owe all four of the Lillrose girls Culver's shakes. We all had the same bet.

How's sunny CA? When are you going to be working back on the east side of MI? Sarnia's only 59 min from my front door, you should let me know when you're over there.

-Cassandra
 
So...she wants a visit. Cool. Ha, and all four Lillrose girls were in on this. Imagine how big of a douche they would take me for if I still hadn't brought this up yet. Golly. And this means that Cassandra had spread the word to all her sisters that she was going out with me that night. That doesn't mean much for Savannah and Sammi, but it does mean that she went out of her way to talk to Tiffany about it. And the topic of their conversation was "is Mike finally going to tell you that he was married/is divorced?"

That's all I've got for tonight. Mon thru Thursday I have class from 8-3 with some degree of variance I'm sure. California time zone, 3 hrs difference.

I rented a convertible mustang :) it's kind of cool.

And so now we're caught up.  Mike's funny.  Jake and I are glad to be there to help.