Lunch with Rich, Conference Call

So, Tuesday night Jake and I both felt pretty hesitant and nervous about buying the Hathaway house, and kind of about buying a house in general.  Jake emailed Rich to say that we'd like a few more days to think about it and that we'd also let him know of more houses we'd like to look at.

The next morning, Rich said that he'd still like to meet with us as planned, except without paperwork, just to chat.  He said that he figured we were getting cold feet and usually having a chat like this helped.  Jake and I said it'd be fine to still meet, but we both went into the meeting thinking that there was no way this would help or change our minds.  We were both pretty sure that the Hathaway house was definitely not for us.

We met at Culver's and had lunch there.  Rich said that back in 1972, when he and his wife had just made an offer on their first house (that was $23,000), he called his realtor in a panic and said, "Tear up the papers!  I don't know what I was thinking, we can't buy a house!"  His realtor then said, "Hey, let's just have breakfast together tomorrow morning and have a chat."  He talked about how this feeling of nervousness is completely normal--thinking that we can't possibly afford a house and that we'd go bankrupt, etc.  I told him we still really liked the Greenbriar house, and that I never got the same feeling at Hathaway that I did at Greenbriar (the feeling of "home").  He pointed out that it's because the folks at Greenbriar really worked hard to make it feel like home, and that Hathaway's owners clearly didn't.  Rich is great because he doesn't put pressure on us to do anything.  He just talked to us and answered our questions.  He really is great and I'm very grateful that we switched to him.  I don't think Dawn would have been able to talk us through things as well as he did.  Anyway, he restored our confidence and we left there thinking that yeah, we would still think about it for a day, but we were pretty sure we'd put an offer in.

Jake did some more research on Wednesday night and found out that the sellers actually finished the basement.  We had thought that they hadn't put any work into it.  Rich estimates that it was probably a $20,000+ job.  So Jake felt a lot better about their asking price after that and we'd offer $170,500.

On Wednesday night we also had a "conference call" with Melissa and Mike, mostly giving him advice about Cassandra.  I swear we're always talking to a member of the Betzold family.  During their conversation, Cassandra told Mike that she was talking with her brother on the phone because they're working on a project together (designing something for pianos).  We were still on that "conference call" with  Meliss and Mike, so I told him to tell her that he was on the phone with his siblings working on a project too.  hehehe.  Mike had sent a birthday present out in the mail to Cassandra: granola (an inside joke), "coupons" for things like help with her car, a temple trip, a movie, a day at the park, etc, and a card.  She texted him in the evening saying that she found flowers in her room, with no name on the card.  She was excited about it.  Asked Mike if he was responsible.  He said no and felt dumb that they weren't.  Then she told him more about "Mr. Colorado" and Mike's thinking, "How many boyfriends does this girl have?"  So he kind of ended the conversation after that.

To Offer or Not to Offer; Lila's Eating.

Yesterday at noon we met at the house we were thinking about putting an offer on (8639 Hathaway).  We spent an hour there, looking around and talking with Rich about the house.  Jake was a little hesitant at first because it has a Home Owner's Association.  But he worked through that by reading through the by-laws and calling up some neighbors and asking questions.  When we went to the open house, we only spent maybe 10-15 minutes there, but we immediately recognized that it has everything we wanted.  We were both impressed too because it looks a lot better in person than in the pictures.  The current owners have owned the house for 8 years and have barely done any decorating, it's pretty awful.  But that means all neutral colors on the walls and no wallpaper or anything to deal with.  All of the trim and doorways and cupboards and walls are pretty nasty dirty.  The kitchen appliances are really dirty.  But, nothing a good cleaning can't fix.

For a while we were thinking that we'd make an offer on it tomorrow.  The tricky thing is that it will be through a relocation company; the company has the final say on whether the sellers can/will accept our offer.  It's priced at $179,000 and Rich thinks it will go for $172,500.  He recommended yesterday that we offer $170,500 but Jake wants to start lower.  He looked at the statistics for houses in the area and thinks we should offer somewhere between $165-170k. We're going to take a few days, or a week, or however long we need to think about it.  I'm starting to get the feeling that it's not the house for us.  I'm still thinking about Greenbriar.  And I think we really need to make sure we want to buy a house that expensive.

Anyway, Lila had fun there chasing the kitties around.  She fell asleep on the way home and slept for an hour.  When Jake got home we had dinner and kind of talked about the house, but I was pretty tired.  The most exciting thing happened though: Lila started walking FOR REAL!  Instead of us helping her get going, she just started walking from Jake to me on her own and took real, balanced, careful steps... instead of kind of walking/running towards me and then falling and me catching her.  It was amazing.  She took 10 steps 3-4 different times to me.  I unexpectedly burst into tears and started crying, to see her little face walking towards me was unreal.  I can't believe she'll be a year old two weeks from today.  Wow, what an emotional thing to be a mom.  I can't believe how fast she's growing up.

I've noticed a change in her the past week or so.  She's definitely maturing.  Her eating has improved a LOT!  Not that she's eating anywhere near enough to sustain her, but she's trying more things.  For instance, today she "ate" a graham cracker, a piece of bread, a banana toddler cookie, half a piece of chocolate, some tomato soup, a Pop Tarts mini-crisp, and a french fry.  That's HUGE.  When I say that she "ate" all those things, mostly I mean she took 3-4 teeny tiny bites.  She doesn't quite get how to bite and chew things.  She won't eat food if it's cut up into small pieces... it has to be a big piece that she slowly gums her way through.  So, when she ate some bread, I gave her an entire piece of bread and she nibbled on the corners of it.  I'm definitely seeing an improvement and I hope she keeps getting better.  Oh, and last night, she was even gumming on a piece of pizza.

This morning she took a nap from 10:40-noon.  It was her only nap of the day.  We had lunch with Jake at his office.  Talked about making an offer on the house and it looked like we were going to, but at dinner is when we decided to slow down and think about this some more.  After that Lila and I went to Meijer to pick up some groceries.  I got a lot of things that I think she might like: banana Toddler cookies, Cheez-its, Some Pop Tarts mini crisps (someone at church gave her a Chocolate one on Sunday and she ate the entire thing, so I definitely wanted to try those, and she ate one today).  I got her some dried apples too, thinking that they'd be like chips, but they're sticky and not completely dried, so she didn't like them.  Now Jake will have to eat the whole thing.

We had grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner and chatted with Mike on the phone while we ate.  Lila enjoyed sitting in Daddy's lap and eating with him.  She's not a huge fan of her high chair, though she'll sit there for 10-15 minutes before whining.  She likes high chairs in restaurants, though.  She really likes sitting in Jake's lap and eating.  After he left, I got Lila ready for bed and we had a nice story time.  She sat so quietly and let me read her a whole book straight through (usually she ends up turning pages over and over).  And she fell asleep within minutes before 8:00.

A Miracle

Oh, in Fast and Testimony meeting on Sunday, Sister Johnson got up and shared her testimony.  She talked about the blessing that Jake gave her (she didn't say it was Jake, just that it was a "dear friend") and her experience with her sick granddaughter, who is now at home and doing well.  She said the whole experience was life changing.  After we left, she and Rand sat down and recorded everything they could remember from the blessing, and she reviewed it every day she was out in New York helping her daughter and granddaughter.  She said it was amazing, seeing the things from the blessing unfold.  After sacrament meeting I sat with her for a while and she teared up and said how grateful she and Rand were for us and how much they love us; said that we've done so much for them.  I said, "You've done so much for us!"  I told her what it says in Jake's patriarchal blessing... that as he ministers to Heavenly Father's children, he will see miracles transpire.  She said this was definitely one of them.  She's going to write a record of this experience and share it with us.  Heavenly Father is amazing.

Mike + Cassandra

• When he got to London, he went straight to campus to meet Cassandra at the music building.  He pulled up to the building, she hopped into the car to show him where to park.  He was disappointed; he'd wanted to give her a hug at first sight.  As they were walking back to the music building, after about walking 20 ft., C stops and says, "Hey! Give me a hug! I'm glad you made it!"
• She gave him a tour of the music school and piano program.  As she was showing him one of the pianos she was fixing and talking about it, he had this feeling, the Spirit telling him, "This is your future wife talking to you."  He said it was amazing.
• She played some different pianos to show him the differences in sound quality.  She was impressed when he started describing the differences.
• When they left at around 1:00, they went to her place for lunch.  Made tomato soup from scratch.  C spilled sugar onto the floor and started scooping it from the floor, back into the container.  Mike teased her about it.
• C once told Emily that it was a huge turn-off for her when men just sit there while women cook and do the dishes; she wants her husband to be involved in that.  So Mike made sure to be involved and did all the dishes after lunch and/or dinner.
• After that they went to a park and spent a long time talking and walking there.  They held hands.  She said, "Warm my hands up!"  They hugged before getting back into the car, he held her for a while.  Said it was very comfortable, not awkward.  They had an easy time talking. At one point she told him that her roommate's brother Chris proposed recently and gave his fiance a giant diamond ring.  She said, "I'm not really into big diamonds... that's not really important to me."  Hint hint. ;)
• He went grocery shopping with C and her roommate Michelle.  He's met Michelle in Kalamazoo and at YSA dances.  At the last YSA dance in Lansing (that took place at the beginning of C's spring break), Emily told Michelle that Mike thinks C is really cool and asked if C does much dating.  He had to fart really bad (lol) so he told them he'd go get chili seasoning so that he could go and fart by himself.  I told him before he left that he should take Beano (he was worried about the farting thing, lol).
• While C and her roommates made chili, Mike helped her roommate's brother with his car.  (The brother, Chris, originally came in and asked C for help, which is pretty funny to me.)  At one point, her roommate Breanne comes up from the basement (where she'd been all day) and saw Mike and said, "Oh, who's this?  Is he someone from the piano program?"  C said, "Nope, he's a friend from Michigan."  She asked Mike what his name was and where he was from.  After he said Battle Creek, a lightbulb went off in her head and she said, "This is Mike Mike?!"  And got so excited and hugged him and they hit it off pretty well.  She said, "I really like you, Mike Mike!  You're welcome here anytime!"  And told him she'd call him Mike Mike from now on.
• After dinner, before they sat down to watch a movie, they looked at the weather and saw that there was freezing rain and snow in Michigan so they tried to get Mike to spend the night, but he totally didn't feel comfortable doing that.  C had told him earlier that day that she wasn't a fan of co-ed sleepovers (like when Chris (Breanne's brother) and his friends would spend the night).  
• At one point, Mike asked Michelle if she wanted a priesthood blessing because she was really sick.  So he and Chris gave her a blessing,
• So they sat down to watch a movie (Invictus) and Mike intended to leave when it ended, around 10:30.  C sat in the middle of the couch, M sat on one side and Michelle sat on the other.  They just sat there and watched (not holding hands) for the first half of the movie.  But halfway through, Michelle left.  So Mike asked, "Can I hold your hand?" and she said yes, of course, and they snuggled on the couch, he had his arms around her, etc.  She rubbed his hands and at some points where he was talking, she squeeze them tighter.
• This is where things got good.  They spent the next 4-5 hours talking (and cuddling).  He asked what her "three year plan" for life was.  Earlier she told him that she bought an old, beat up Steinway piano on Craigslist for $3000 and she has a "three year plan" to fix it up and then sell it (it should sell for up to $70k!).  So he wanted to start asking questions and get a good conversation going so that she could start asking questions about the divorce if she wanted.  She told him that she was finishing up school and then in December she'd be done with her internship, but she didn't really know after that.  She said she does hope to be married in 3 years.  
• Oh, so Mike asked about the bet that she made with her sisters about the divorce.  When her family visited her in Canada at the beginning of her spring break, she and her sisters and Mom were talking about Mike.  They couldn't figure him out.  He'd lived in Battle Creek for a year and they hadn't met him till now.  Cassandra figured that he was divorced, so they googled him and found a blurb in the newspaper about it.  She also remembered Kalina doing Lindsey Reyes's wedding cake.  He told her that he would have told her sooner but hadn't really had an opportunity to do so until their ice skating date.  She said she understood.
• At some point she said, "So tell me about Kalina." Mike basically told her everything.  Told her out they met (which C said she thought was kind of cute) and then how the divorce happened.  Told her about Kalina's past and how that affected their marriage.  That they never really had a happy marriage.  Told her about the day she told him she wanted a divorce, how he didn't tell anyone until a day or two when he was driving to work in Indiana, he called his dad and started bawling.  Told her about the men he talked to in the temple (Brother Stoddard, the man who sealed he and Kalina--coincidentally, C's mom nannied for Brother Stoddard's brother when she was in her 20s) who told him about their experiences with re-marriage and how much of a blessing their current wives were.  He touched on Kalina's sexual anorexia.  So, he basically bore all.  He said/thought that maybe he said too much, but he said it felt very right and good to just get it out there.  He asked if C had anymore questions, and she didn't.  She said, "Wow, that must have been so hard."
• And then she started talking about her struggles.  She said it's been so difficult for her to not be married yet.  All she's ever wanted is to be a mom and to have a family and that it's never been important to her to have a career, even though that's what has come easily to her.  She said she's dated a few guys seriously, but the Spirit never guided her to marry either of them.  She's been proposed to twice by the same guy.  She helped teach him the gospel, and she said he mistook the feelings of the gospel for love for her.  She said that when she was younger she was really angry about it, but now she's just trying to follow the Spirit and that the Spirit led her to grad school.  She never planned on going to grad school, but that's where she's been led.  She made it very clear to Mike several times that career wasn't important to her. She said that she could end the internship whenever she wanted. 
• They swapped mission stories.
• She told Mike at some point that she thought he was a great guy, that it's clear he honors the priesthood, and that she'd really like to get to know him better.  Mike then said that he thinks she's amazing, that it's clear she honors the priesthood, and that he wants to continue to get to know her.
• She (half-jokingly) asked Mike what in the world Jake was thinking when he introduced them so soon after the divorce.  It's a good thing that she and Jake have a good rapport, he can get away with being bold. :)  So Mike told her everything about that as well... how the first time he saw her was at the YSA dance when he was still married.  He saw her signing with Emma Hardy; she was so animated and happy and he thought, "Wow, I wish my wife was that happy."  And about how Kalina had been moved out for a long time before the divorce finalized.  He told C how awesome Jake and I were throughout the divorce, and how we'd talked about her before the divorce was final to give him some hope.  Something like that.
• They talked about kids.  He asked if she'd want to wait for a while after she got married to have kids.  She said probably not, that she'd like to start her family soon after.
• As he was getting ready to leave, he asked when she was coming to Kalamazoo next.  She said the weekend of March 19th, for her friend Serena's wedding reception.  (Serena is coincidentally Shane's--Emily's love interest's--sister.)  Mike said, "Oh, and that's when your friend from Colorado is coming right?"  (On their ice skating date, C told him that a guy from Colorado was going to come visit that weekend because "he'd never been to Michigan before and he wants to see what it's like.")  Cassandra said, slyly, that it looks like he won't be coming to visit anymore, because she's changing his plans.  Mike asked why and she smiled and said it was a story for another day.  It's pretty apparent that this guy was a potential love interest and that she didn't want to have to go to this reception by herself.  Cassandra turns 26 this Saturday and said she's trying to get her sisters to visit her.  Mike probably won't be able to go because of work, but is planning on sending her flowers.

I know I'm totally geeking out about this.  I'm obviously very excited for them! :)  I just feel Heavenly Father's hand in this so much.  To have seen all that Mike went through... and to have known Cassandra for a while and know that she's been wanting to get married so much... this is just wonderful.  I think that they will get married.  C's been texting with him yesterday and today, it's all good stuff.  Woohoo!  I'm going to have an awesome sister-in-law! :)  (I hope.)

Baby Showers (and Hunger!), Mike's date, President Anderson

On Friday, after Lila's morning nap, we picked up Emily and went to the mall.  We had lunch at the food court and Lila happily munched on some fries.  I went there to get some jeggings for Annette's baby Ruby. Preston loved Lila's jeggings and it's become a bit of a joke in the ward.  That night, we had a game night with Ann and Ben Hernandez and Kari and Hayden.  Ann and Ben are living with Ann's parents right now while Ben is looking for a job; they just moved here from Mexico; Ann is originally from Kalamazoo.  Nice couple!  So Lila got to play around with Lucas and Hayden.  We played "Oh Caca!" and had pizza.  It was a pretty short game night.  Didn't start till 7:15 and ended at 8:30 or so when Lila was ready for bed. That night, we watched an episode or two of Planet Earth.

Saturday was a weird day.  I had Annette's baby shower at 11.  It was really nice and relaxed and intimate. No silly games.  Just visiting, eating, and opening presents.  They did pass around a book that we could write advice in.  It was a really nice time and it was so fun seeing her open all of the sweet baby girl clothes.  And OHHHH did the baby hunger kick in. lol.  I was jokingly telling the women I was sitting next to that if I'm pregnant soon I'm blaming it on Annette.  I'm so excited to meet sweet baby Ruby.  Everyone laughed when she opened the jeggings.  I also bought her the most adorable outfit, a limey-yellow-green and tan outfit, that she said she was going to buy at Kohl's the other day, but Preston told her to wait until after the shower. :)  Score.

After that I headed right to Desiree's shower, which was completely different.  It was at a moody/trendy restaurant, North Eleven.  Her sister is a manager there and Tyler is a waiter there.  There were a LOT of people there--over thirty.  And we were all sitting at a very long table, so it didn't feel very intimate.  Desiree was dressed up fancy.  It was catered by the place, so I got my fill of Pepsi and mozzarella sticks. :)  I sat near Sonja, Juliet Nava-Altman, Ann, and Danielle (formerly Bush) Johnson and her sister Karen.  Danielle and Brian Bush are getting divorced.  Not a surprise.  I'm going to take more maternity pictures of Sonja in a few weeks.  It was a long shower and got boring after a while.  There were a ton of presents.

So yes, I left the showers very, very, very baby hungry. :)  While I was at the showers, Jake and Lila had lunch with Andre and then went to the grocery store.  It was fun seeing her when we all got home.  We played in bed for a long time, hoping that she'd fall asleep but she didn't.  She's so cute now.  When we ask her where her belly is, she lifts up her shirts and pats her belly and then claps her hands.  She likes it when I then poke her belly and say, "Belly, belly, belly!"  If we ask her where our noses are, she grabs at or points at our noses.  Very, very cute.  She is getting to be sooo adorable.

We met President Anderson (our stake president) at Applebee's at 5.  Lila fell asleep on the way there and I sat in the car with her for 40 minutes before waking her up.  She was so tired.  I wrote Jess an email on Jake's phone.  She'll have her baby in around a month!!  So crazy.  Lila and I will go visit them this summer.

We met with P.A. to talk about buying houses.  He said he'd like to do that because he and Cynthia have had 8 houses and have learned a lot.  It was really good to sit down and just talk about it--helps Jake and I feel better about it and more informed, and helps the idea solidify in our minds.  It's a big step to take... feels like such a grown-up thing to do, but P.A. reminded us that it's a natural thing to do and helped us feel more confident about it.  Good man!  He'll make a great mission president.

Saturday night we waited to hear from Mike till 12:30am.  He said he'd leave Cassandra's at 10:30pm.  But we didn't hear back so we went to bed.  This morning we woke up a little after 7 and heard about the date from Mike on the phone (I'll write a separate post about that--it's awesome!).  That made us excited all day.  Church went well.  We gave the prayers.  Lila was pretty cuddly and screamed a lot too.  Jake had to do stuff for a stake audit during second hour and part of third so I had Lila duty.  I walked around the hallway with her for what felt like a long time, and she finally fell asleep just as Jake rounded the corner to save the day.  My heart leapt when I saw him, "My husband!"  So he took Lila to EQ and she slept till that was over.

After church we went to the nursing home.  There's an old lady there who just adores Lila.  Lila was pretty shy and snuggled Jake, she was still tired and waking up from her nap.  After that we went to an open house.  It was an awesome house and we're interested in it... we thought maybe we'd make an offer on it this week, but we'll have to think that through.  We're going to have Rich show it to us tomorrow at lunch.  We think it'll sell fast, so if we do want to make an offer, we probably need to do it soon.  So we'll see.  (I still like the Greenbriar house.)

Lila pooped three times today, it was awesome.  It smells SO BAD because of the vitamins she's taking. Nasty.

Mike and Emily came over after the KUB break-the-fast.  Mike told us everything about the date yesterday and that was fun.  He and Cassandra will get married someday.  It's pretty apparent.  :)  We're so happy.  Lila fell asleep in the Ergo while he was talking.  She didn't get good naps in today.  Jake broke his fast.  Talked to parents on the phone.  Mike and Em left.

We started putting Lila to bed at 7 because she was super tired and she screamed and cried for the better part of an hour.  It was weird.  She was super tired.  She ate a few crackers today, which is great.  She's slowly getting better.  Talked to Mike a little bit more on the phone and have the CES fireside on.  Now we're going to have some milk and cookies. :)  Yum.

Good weekend.

Things I Love About You 2011

From Rudi to Jake, for Valentine's Day.

1. I love that you love kids so much and that you're so good with them; that I never have to worry about feeling supported in my desires to have children and a happy family, because your desires and intentions match my own.

2. I love how you really do inspire and motivate me to be more righteous and obedient.  Ex. Sabbath Day.  And how your desires to be obedient aren't because you want to appear righteous or because you have a "holier than thou" attitude, but because you sincerely want to obey God's commandments and that you have faith that He'll bless us.

3. I love you love and care for our daughter; that you were right by my side through labor and the days after birth when I was recovering and my feelings were so tender and vulnerable.  I felt so protected and safe because you were there for me.  You took charge--changed diapers and gave baths.  You encouraged me in learning how to breastfeed; called lactation consultants for me.  The first week of Lila's life was so special and it really bonded us together.  It made us a family.

4. I love how you are the only other person in the whole world who knows just what it's like to have Lila for a daughter.  I feel like we have the same heart now, because of Lila and our commitment to adoration of her.  I love how you and I giggle whispering in the dark hallway outside of our room, picturing in our minds how she looks sleepy-eyed and tired, sitting up in bed.

5. I love that you want music in our home--the stereo, drums, piano.  You make it a point to share music with Lila.  I remember in the days when we got home from the hospital, you played Mozart for her all day long.

6.  I love that you impress people.  Most recently, your new boss and co-workers.

7.  I love that you can support our family and made choices in your education and career that allow you to do so.  Instead of prolonging responsibility or avoiding it, you embrace it.

8.  I loved to see you vulnerable and nervous for me while I was in labor.

9.  I love how you have been a loving example to your siblings; to see you praying and fasting for them, defending them; investing time and energy; guiding, giving advice (even when it's unsolicited); saying bold things.

10.  I love how you're learning to balance things.  Especially with your calling.  To see you recognizing you can't do everything you'd like to do and be at peace with it is good--shows how you're maturing.

11.  I love how you really are the priesthood leader in our home.  I feel it.  Never knew I wanted to be led like this, but it feels so good and so right.

12.  I love that "words mean things" to you.  It saves us a lot of problems and we avoid a lot of pointless arguments because we're usually able to communicate what we need and wants.  It sets good examples to our kids.

13.  I love that you have such faith in my mothering and that you support me in my parenting style (so far); that you agree that co-sleeping is the way to go right now; how when Lila crawls to me and falls asleep on me at night you think it's adorable and so sweet; that when I said I intend on doing things a lot differently with our next baby, you told me that you didn't think I needed to do anything differently because I'm there for Lila when she needs me.  I love that you listen to the different ideas I have about raising/teaching/disciplining our kids.  You--once again--have built me up; built up my confidence as a woman and mother.  This is one of the greatest gifts you'll ever give me in my whole life.

Taxes and Mike

Thursday night was ok. We were up late, till almost 1:00 doing our taxes. We watched the Office marathon too. We get a decent return this year as expected, which is especially nice because last year we had to pay a lot. Thursday night was also exciting because Cassandra invited Mike to visit her in Canada this weekend. They were originally going to drive to Kzoo together after mike flew into Detroit on friday night, but she ended up needing to stay in canada so she invited him to just go there on Saturday. So that's where he is right now! Very exciting stuff and it's happening so fast. We definitely think she's interested in him now. We're really excited to hear about it all tomorrow. We've "invested" so much into mike over the past 6 months; we've cried and prayed with him, we've seen him struggle so much. It's so nice to see good things happening for him.