Oh, life. I'm tired. The past few nights, Lila's been up a lot. Just wanting to nurse for hours. Yikes. She's teething right now. And I think giving her raisins (which give her gas) after dinner was a really bad idea. So I'm exhausted. There's a point where I get a little delirious with exhaustion in the middle of the night and I just want her to fall! asleep! and leave me alone! But last night I tried to just relax and rest and remember some of things I'd read and felt before bed... about motherhood and sacrifice and how my strength and influence in motherhood comes from Christ. Sacrificing sleep and rest and sometimes sanity helps me become more like my Savior and helps me understand Him more.
Woke up to my alarm this morning at 8:30. We would've slept in more, but Lila had an OT appointment at 9:15. She did pretty well! She sat in a high chair almost the whole time; it was her first time in a high chair at OT and Kristen was happy about that. Kristen said the next step is to start working on Lila's tongue. Lila is very "protective" of her tongue and it's very sensitive, apparently. Kristen said it might be challenging. But she says Lila is making baby steps, which is good. When I told her that Lila won't drink juice or cow's milk, she said, "Oh, well she's got a while to go then with all these aversions." I'm going to try almond milk with Lila... it's thinner than cow's milk, so maybe she'll take to it? We'll see.
After that I headed to Alicia Thompson's for a playdate with her, Annette Shumway, and Holly Tensmeyer. It was a nice time. Talked mostly about pregnancy and babies. Alicia just had her baby girl Quay (never ever of that name before) a month ago, Annette's daughter Ruby is 3 months old, and Holly and I are both pregnant with our second children. It's an exciting time in life, to literally be multiplying, and to be supporting each other and learning together. Lila had fun playing with Brig and snacked with him, and they were nuzzling noses and almost kissing a few times, hehe. We had lunch together, a yummy chicken salad, and then I had to leave because Lila desperately needed a nap. It was a happy morning with friends, though. I'm very grateful that we moved to the 1st ward when we did--this network of young mothers means so much to me.
Lila and I both napped when we got home, and I'm still exhausted. Lila's in bed now, and I probably should be, but I'd like to spend some time with Jake tonight and he's still in his stake meeting.
The rest of our afternoon (after our nap) was nice. We Skyped with AnnaMarie and her girls, which was a nice treat. Lila really liked that and it was fun to see them all. It's too bad we don't live closer, because I think we'd all get along real well. Lila and I read some books and had some snacks, and then we went to GFS to pick up some food/supplies for the ward picnic. Then we dropped them off at Holly's and then picked up a Little Caesar's pizza for dinner. We ate our dinner and then Jake got home (he had to go to Indiana for work today). Lila was SO happy to see him and was all about daddy for the rest of the night. We read books together, she would go in to visit Jake, she took a long bath and played with the bubbles (I bought her bubble bath). She is so sweet lately and I just want to remember all of this forever. I want to remember her sweet chubby checks and her soft blond curls and her blue eyes looking up at me so sweetly and innocently, the way she smiles at me and says mommy, the way she hums to herself. I want to remember it all because I love her so much. We lost our extra camera battery and the battery charger so haven't been able to use our camera and it's driving me crazy because I just want to capture so many of these sweet moments I have with her and can't. So tonight I told Jake to just order a new one.
I've been feeling good lately. Tired, but good. So grateful to my Heavenly Father. Spending time up north with family and especially with Melissa has made me want to draw near to Heavenly Father. I need His help and His gospel to mother Lila the way she deserves to be mothered, and to prepare for the birth of our next child, and to understand the great importance of the work that I'm doing. I've been reading the scriptures and listening to the counsel of prophets and apostles and their wives. I've loved listening to "conversations" on Mormon Radio because a lot of the interviews are about how they raised their families. And it's so comforting to hear from parents and mothers who are now enjoying the fruits of their labors. Gives me hope and faith that what I'm doing is the right thing.
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