We got home and I took off my clothes to take a shower. Jake was watching me (not unusual) and said, "Uh, are you bloated?" and "Maybe you should take a pregnancy test." Something along those lines. I looked in the mirror and wow, I had quite the tummy. But I didn't feel bloated, it felt firm. Last month, there was a few days after I knew I'd ovulated where I was pretty bloated and I thought maybe I was pregnant, but the two tests (from early-pregnancy-tests.com) I took came back negative. And then I had a period starting March 24th.
During around the time in April when I thought I'd be ovulating, I started taking ovulation test strips again, but for like 3-4 or more days in a row, I just got faint line that never got darker. Eventually I just thought it was lame so I stopped taking the tests, but Jake and I tried anyway. I was pretty sure that nothing came of it.
Since then (that was probably 2-3 weeks ago), things have gotten pretty crazy with the move. And even though I know I've been a little more impatient with Lila, I really do think she's been crankier/needier than usual. I wrote this to Kelsey on April 22:
As far as I know, I'm not pregnant yet, and to be honest, that's okay with me. This whole house-buying experience and then all the craziness with having to replace the carpets and all the work that the move has been and will be... and with how miserable Lila's been lately, I seriously don't know how I'd do it being pregnant. I've thought so many times lately how I don't know how moms handle more than one kid! lol We'll still try, but I'm really okay with it taking a while. I feel like this house is a new baby and will take a lot of our time and energy this summer. I really feel like Heavenly Father knows me and what I need and I trust His timing, so whatever happens we'll take it and be grateful for it.
I've really thought quite a few times over the past few weeks that I don't know how people manage more than one child! I think a lot of it has to do with the move and all the added stress that has been. But, anyway, I really thought/felt like it would be ok and be a relief if I didn't get pregnant this time around... but that it would also really make sense if I did, just because of the irony. Of course I would find out the night before we move.
Anyway, back to tonight. After checking myself out in the mirror and seeing how big my belly was, I decided to take a test. The thought crossed my mind earlier this morning, but I thought it would probably be a waste. I always feel so silly when I take a test and it's negative. I barely had to go to the bathroom, but I manage to go enough to take a test :) I immediately started watching it and the control line showed up but I didn't see any other line so I kept saying things like, "Nope. Not pregnant." And maybe a minute (probably less) went by and then I thought I started seeing a faint, faint line. I turned a brighter light on and inspected the test further. I showed it to Jake and asked him a few times if he thought he saw a line. After another minute or so, there was definitely a line there! And it got darker as time passed (the instructions say to wait a full 5 minutes for complete results).
My initial reaction was, "Wow. Ok." And kind of went on with taking my shower. Jake and I looked at each other like, "Nice. Well done!" But we weren't like super excited or anything. Because I really didn't believe the test at first... thought it was maybe a fluke or something, because it wasn't as dark as the control line. So I showered and kept asking Jake if he really thought I was pregnant, and he did. Told me that my legs and butt look a little bigger than usual, and they sure do! I can't believe I'd already be gaining weight... I really don't want to gain 50 pounds again!
Anyway, so I finished my shower and looked up on the early-pregnancy-tests.com website to read about positive results and they even have pictures that women send in of positive results, and even a faint line means positive... soooo... it looks like I really am pregnant. !!!! I still want to take another "real" pregnancy test (not just a strip) tomorrow morning. We happen to have a few. So, we'll see.
As I've been writing this, I've been feeling things going on in that area...
It would definitely explain why I've been feeling SO cranky the past week... just drained and exhausted and not motivated to do much. A little depressed. Similar to what I felt with the last pregnancy.
The due date would be around December 29th. That would put me a few days past 5 weeks along.
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