What a busy, busy weekend we had!
On Thursday I took Lila to the "Baby Steps" reading time at the library. Ann told me about it. I was so bored that I needed to get out... I didn't really leave the apartment on Tuesday or Wednesday. So we were there for ~45 minutes. Ann couldn't go because Lucas was sick. But, Renate Savage, one of the women I visit teach and the nursery leader, was there with her 18-month-old granddaughter Charly. We sang nursery rhymes and the librarian read a little story. Lila was probably the youngest child there. She had a blast though. She was walking all over the room, looking at the other kids, dancing, jibber-jabbering. She loved the stuffed animal puppets the librarian was using too. So it seems like she's not a very shy child. I'll continue to take her.
Lately we've been saying that we need to go to the temple. We've been trying to find another couple or person to come with us so that they could watch Lila and we could do a session together, but we just couldn't, so we decided to go anyway. Jake bought a $20 app for his iPhone on Wednesday that allows him to use it as a WiFi hotspot so he can work from anywhere, even in the car. So he was able to work from the car on Friday while I drove to the Chicago temple. We left in the morning a little later than we planned. We made it there without stopping. Lila slept for a little while. We got there around 10:10 so we had a half-hour to "waste" before we had to be at the temple. We went to the nearby Dunkin Donuts.
I went through a session first. I had been praying simply for the Spirit to speak to my heart about what I need to be doing in my life. It was only the second time I went through since Lila was born. And I was
so tired through the whole session. I actually had a pretty difficult time staying awake and paying a lot of attention :) Which is funny, because I always tease Jake about falling asleep in the temple (he seriously does every time). The revelation and impressions that I did receive though were this -- I thought a lot about the blessings in my life, and I have so many... my family, my husband and daughter, the gospel, our new house, our health, our friends, etc. We have a very blessed life and I feel it every day. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that we are so happy and blessed... but as I was in the temple, and on the drive home afterwards, I felt the Spirit direct me to just use my blessings to serve other people, that it is part of Heavenly Father's plan for us to use our blessings to help others. And that is exactly what we covenant to do in the temple.
After I finished my session, Jake and I quickly traded off. I bought some garments at the distribution center. And then Lila and I headed off for a nearby shopping center. She fell asleep on the way there, thankfully, so I just sat in a parking lot for an hour and talked to Mike on the phone. He was getting ready to leave for Canada to visit Cassandra. He was at Target and under my direction bought her a dark chocolate Easter bunny. He doesn't like dark chocolate, but it's her very favorite... he said that he didn't want to get her that flavor because he doesn't like it and they wouldn't be able to share. I explained that girls generally do not like to share their chocolate and that she would love it. He also got her coconut M&Ms, which she once mentioned that she really liked. Way to go, Mike!
So it was pretty awesome that Lila slept almost the whole time Jake was in the temple. We spent a half-hour in the waiting room. The temple president came in and said hello, which was nice. After that we headed to Ikea to look at couches and a few other miscellaneous items. We had dinner there too. Lila liked the mashed potatoes and the gravy from the Swedish meatballs. Oh, how I love Ikea. I wish we lived closer to one. I was so, so exhausted in there though. It had been a very dreary, rainy, cloudy day... and those kinds of days seem to always give me a headache and zap me of most of my energy. We bought 4 pretty blue bowls for cereal (to replace the cheap, nasty pink plastic bowls that Jake uses and loves) and a wok (so excited to have a gas stove at our house!).
The ride home was not so awesome. We stopped at an oasis an hour or so after leaving. We let Lila walk around and burn some energy. She was so cute. She was walking all over the place. We've discovered that she loves couches and arm chairs, standing against the back-rest. For some reason she thinks it's so fun, and kind of bounces on the couch like it's a trampoline. We sat on some chairs that she could play on like that. We spent a good amount of time there so really hoped that she'd just fall asleep, it was probably around 8:00 or later by the time we left. But then she started
screaming and crying. High-pitched, awful screaming. We've never heard her scream/cry like that. lol. So that was really unpleasant. We stopped shortly at a rest-stop to see if she was hungry. As soon as we took her out of her carseat she was giggling and laughing and playing. So we strapped her back in and she screamed for another half-hour before finally passing out. We made it home at around 11.
The next morning, Jake and I had to be at the stake center at 7am for interviews for the new stake presidency. So we had to wake our poor, exhausted baby up. Jake unzipped her pj's and took her legs out of them to start changing her diaper and she stayed asleep through it all. Poor girl. I felt bad. But we got her up and dropped her off at Rand Johnson's, where he watched her. We sat around and visited for an hour or more before our interview. The former stake presidency and their wives were all so hapyp, lol. They've been serving together for 8 years, and both of the counselors (Petersen and Saye) were counselors in the last stake presidency too. So they've been serving for a long time! Josh Little was there but didn't bring Tamara because he didn't realize he was supposed to... so when it was time for their interview he brought her up on Skype webcam; the visiting leadership thought that was really funny and had never heard of that happening before. Our interview was pretty short. The General Authority was
Elder Christoffel Golden of the first quorum of the seventy. Elder Smith, an Area Authority Seventy from Pennsylvania accompanied him.
In the interview, they asked how we met. Elder Golden was really pleased to hear that both Jake and I are from Michigan and still live here; that we're building up Zion where we're from, instead of being "faint of heart" and going to Utah (that last part was a joke, I think). He asked me how Jake is as a husband, and I enthusiastically told him that Jake is awesome. He said that the Stake Clerk and Secretary are the engine room of the stake presidency and commended Jake for his service... says that he has a lot of good work ahead of him so to prepare for it. And that was it. I picked up Lila (who had a blast climbing the stairs at the Johnson's) and she took an hour nap, her only nap of the day.
In Jake's private interview with them, Elder Golden asked him if he reads his scriptures and prays daily (morning and night), and he does. He asked about temple attendance. Jake told him that the day before was only our second trip since Lila was born. Elder Golden suggested that maybe we leave Lila with someone else so that we can go, and Jake explained that it's been a little weird/difficult because Lila is still nursing, but that we really are going to try to be better. Elder Golden, as soon as Jake mentioned the nursing thing, said, "Oh, that's really important for Rudi to be doing. Just do your best, she needs to be there for Lila, etc." I thought that was really sweet. But we can do better.
After Jake got home, we did some packing and shopping. We also picked up boxes from Melissa Linkfield. Lila got to meet her two Great Danes and she
loved that. We put her on one of them to "ride" it, but she didn't like that part.
Dan came down from Midland to visit and was at our place when we returned from grocery shopping. He is in the midst of a break-up with Kelsey, the (16-year-old) girl he met in rehab. He cried for a while when he first got here, but seemed to perk up after a few hours. Wow. What a kid, I tell ya. He says that he wants a committed relationship, with a girl who is mature, educated, and has standards... and then he goes out and dates Kelsey, a 16-year-old high school drop-out that he met in rehab. It would be another story if Kelsey was working hard to get her life back together, but she's not. She's telling Dan that she needs space to figure things out and work on herself, but Dan doesn't want to accept that and is furious that she wants space; he thinks that she should be able to work on herself within their relationship. So I explained (again... we had this talk back before he moved to Midland... back when he admitted that Kelsey had "maybe one" of the qualities he wanted in a future wife) that she's just a young girl, and it's not healthy for young girls (especially ones with a background like Kelsey) to always be connected to a guy, that they need time to themselves to grow and learn how to love themselves independent of a boyfriend. It's just really sad to see Dan struggling like this. He wants basically what his older brothers want/have... stability, a committed relationship and companion, financial security, etc. But, he's not willing to do what it takes to get those things. And his attitude about everything is so poor... he swore a lot, when he was angry at Kelsey. "I hope she feels s***ty about everything, and I hope she feels that way for a long time, she's so retarded, blah blah blah." And then I think about how Mike handled everything with Kalina, and how he never said things like that... he always hoped that Kalina would eventually find happiness and peace. But, the sad thing is, the heartache and pain that Dan is feeling right now is very real. And that's something that I have really learned the past year, watching Mike's, Kalina's, and Dan's struggles... living, or not living, the principles of the gospel
really, really does make all the difference in life. The prophets and our parents don't teach us these things blindly--the gospel really does bring peace and happiness and fulfillment. Disobeying and living a sinful life really does bring despair, heartache, loneliness, and destruction. Dan asked me on Sunday if I thought it was normal that even though he knows what he wants/needs to do (which is break up with Kelsey) that he was still feeling really crappy. So I talked to him a while about that... how it's normal for him to feel a sense of loss and loneliness because he invested a lot of himself. He doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend to me... he actually sounds pretty angry and controlling. Sigh. I just don't know what we can all do to help him. He did come to Stake Conference with us on Sunday morning. But he still doesn't want to go to church in Midland. We encouraged him to live the standards of the gospel, even if he doesn't go to church, because he will be blessed for it. And we spent a lot of time building him up, encouraging him, and trying to remind him that there are good things ahead. Mom and Dad Betzold have been praying that something will happen in Dan's life to bring about a change of heart... maybe this is it. We all need to keep praying for him. It's just so sad to see him wandering around so lost and essentially alone, when he has been taught and has access to everything he needs to bring true and lasting happiness.
After we visited and had dinner with him, and after he helped us do some packing, he went to Battle Creek to visit the Jimmy John's store/people he used to work with. Jake and I were tired and were making plans and preparing for conference the next day. Pat Anderson (the newly-released stake president) called. He told Jake who the new presidency was: Mark Witt (from St. Joe) president, Mark Montross (the branch president in Marshall) 1st counselor, and David Decker (from Portage) 2nd counselor. As part of the interview process, each brother gives the GA's three names of men they think could serve as the new stake president. Jake's list was 1) Mark Witt, 2) John Lakenan, and 3) David Decker. So he was pretty "proud" for getting 2 out of 3. Pat also told us that the orientation for the new stake presidency, which had been scheduled for 3pm on Saturday, had been rescheduled for 7am on Sunday because they ran out of time on Saturday. Originally, only the stake president, his counselors, and their wives were invited to the orientation, but Elder Golden requested that the stake clerk and exec. secretary and their wives also come. Soo, then we had to scramble to find someone to watch Lila, and I felt bad that we'd have to get her up early again. We hunted down Mike and called him on Cassandra's Canadian cell phone using Google talk and asked if he would watch her. He couldn't say no, of course. :) We managed to get everything prepared for Sunday and were in bed before 10:00, I think. Lila had gone to bed at 7pm that night.
Jake and I woke up at 5:30, got ready. Lila woke up just as we were about to wake her up. On our way to Battle Creek, we drove past Mark Witt and his wife. So, about the new presidency: I just think they're wonderful men. Jake couldn't see anyone but Mark Witt serving as president, and I think he'll do a fantastic job. He was one of the first people we met at church in Kalamazoo, I think he was a high councilman at the time. He grew up in Michigan, in Midland, and was best friends with John Packham... who was one of Jake's counselors in Houghton when Jake was the YM president. Very nice man. He has a daughter my age that has a little baby girl too. I don't know Mark Montross. Jake's a little prejudiced against him because he's the head of the Bishop Welfare Committee and Jake missed a few meetings... so basically, Jake just feels guilty and hopes that Pres. Montross doesn't hold it against him. :) I highly doubt that he does. I had a very, very strong feeling that David Decker was going to be in the presidency too. I really like him and his family. He's raised five wonderfully smart, beautiful, talented, confident daughters.
The orientation was wonderful. I'm so glad that wives were invited too. A lot of times, Jake goes to all these trainings and meetings and then tells me about them afterwards... but I'm sure he leaves out tons of stuff that he learned, because this was just so fulfilling. Elders Golden and Smith are both awesome. They shared "strategies" and insights into helping wards and stakes grow and be more successful. I'll type up the notes we took and post them. Very cool. Anyway, that lasted 2+ hours. I left a little early so that I could get Lila ready at Mike's. When I got there, Mike was in the shower and Dan was playing with her, except she was super cranky and whiny and was crying. I don't blame her--she had to get up super early again!
It was 85 degrees and sunny with a wonderful warm breeze yesterday. It was divine. So Lila didn't wear any tights or a long-sleeved onesie underneath her dress and it was so cute. It gave me a great taste of what summer will be like with my sweet, chubby baby (well, toddler). We got there just as conference was starting. I feel like I didn't get to hear most of the talks, because we were out a lot with Lila. I was, anyway. Jake had to count everyone there. I strapped Lila into the Ergo and walked around the lobby with her. Visited a little bit with some women from my ward and also Desiree, who is very pregnant and swollen and still has a little more than a week to go till she's due. Ahh! It's so exciting that so many of my friends are having babies! (As a note, Jessica's due date was April 5th and she still hasn't had her baby yet! Poor thing! I'm constantly checking Facebook to see if she's in labor, but so far nope. Haley even flew out on the 7th to be with her, and I think she has to leave in a few days.) Lila did fall asleep for almost an hour, I think. I was so glad. The former and new stake presidency members bore their testimonies.
Tamara and I were in charge of the lunch after the meetings. We set up in a classroom. It was a simple lunch... she made pulled pork and I brought things for deli sandwiches and we had chips, fruit, cookies, etc. It was really warm in that classroom. It took almost 2 hours for the brethren and their families to make it to the classroom. First, they shook hands and talked with the members of the stake who went up to the stage. Then they needed to be set apart. The General Authorities had to catch a flight, so they took their meals. President Witt and his wife couldn't stay for the meal because they had organized a singles potluck. Man, by the time we ate, those of us who had waited in the classroom were so exhausted. I spent the two hours waiting chasing after Lila. She has really started walking this past week. She was walking up and down the hallways, out of the classroom when I wasn't looking. One time as she was about to walk out of the classroom, she stopped, turned around, and waved "bye" at me before continuing on her way. She fell and hit her head on the ground and also bit her lip and there was a little blood. Poor girl! It's weird that I'm all so suddenly the mother of a walking child! She had a really difficult time, she was really tired. She learned how to go limp when I tried to pick her up, she did that several times... I'm really in for some trouble now!
We cleaned up quickly after lunch and headed home. Lila fell asleep very quickly and slept for an hour. After we'd driven for some time down the freeway, Jake realized that he'd forgotten his notebook (with all the notes he took at training and during the settings apart of the stake presidency) in the classroom, so he drove back hoping that he could get into the school, but he couldn't. And on the way back to the school, he realized that something was wrong with one of the brakes on my car... a caliper needed to be replaced. He wasn't sure if it was safe to drive home, but did some inspecting and decided it would be ok. Oh, and the drivers seat of my car is broken, it won't move forward anymore so that I can barely reach the pedals, so Jake will have to replace that too. Of course this would happen the week that we close on our house :)
Jake and I were really tired when we got home. But we had things to do. After dinner we went to the nursing home to visit John. It was such a beautiful day out; made us excited to have our house. We did bath time with Lila when we got home and put her to bed at around 7 or 8 I think. We visited with Mike a little bit. He had spent the weekend with Cassandra and they had a nice time, of course. Things are going well for them... she still seems to like him a lot :) Jake and I also got to visit a little bit and he did some clerk work too. We were in bed by 11.
And that brings us to today. Lila woke up when Jake got up for work, so she and I joined him for a quick breakfast. She was exhausted (and very cranky) by 9:00 so she went down for a nap at maybe 9:30. At 10:30 I heard her whimpering on the baby monitor and so I went in and she started crying... it sounded like she was in pain, it wasn't a normal cry. So I nursed her for a little bit and I thought she was just going to get up from her nap, but instead, she laid her head on my chest, so exhausted, and let me rub her back until she fell asleep. Oh my.
That is why I became a mommy. That is seriously what I've been looking forward to doing for years... having my daughter fall asleep with her head on my chest. I remember taking naps with my mom that way... listening to her heart beat and trying to match my breathing to hers. I just loved it and soaked it in. And then I fell asleep with her :) I slept for an hour or more... and she woke up briefly when I was getting out of bed, but then slept for another hour... so she slept for like 3 hours this morning, which she never does!
The rest of the day is kind of a blur. When she woke up she was in a great mood, and I sang her nursery rhymes and tickled and kissed her all over, and she loved that. What a sweet, sweet, baby... I just love her. I did some packing. Emily came over with Taco Bell and we visited. Justin is coming home in a week or so. I called carpet/air duct cleaners for estimates. We will close on Friday. We'll do a final walk-through at 11 and then sign papers at 3! Woohoo! We're almost there! Lila was very cranky and clingy and exhausted today. It made it very difficult to get anything done. Especially dinner. She just hates it when I make dinner! So by the time Jake got home, I was pretty tuckered out. We ate a quick dinner... Lila enjoyed it I think. Wild rice and chicken. She really likes eating rice. Or at least she likes trying to eat rice, most of it ends up on the floor, but it makes me happy to see her happily engaged with food. Mike came over to help Jake replace the caliper and that's what they are doing right now. They took Lila with them at first so that I took take a shower, which was very nice, at the end of a long day. And I love my hot showers. I went and got Lila; she was happily playing on the passenger seat of my car while the boys were working on it. She had a hoodie on and was so cute. She wanted to play in the dirt/woodchips outside of our apartment's door and so I let her do that for a while. It was adorable, and wow, she is so confident in her walking now! She was going up little steps and stomping and playing in the dirt like a real kid! She is going to love our house and going to love going to the park this summer. I love it. But she did not want to go inside to bed, so she had a complete meltdown. She is definitely changing and growing.
Ok, now it's 10:00. Mike just left. We had a nice FHE lesson based on Lynn G. Robbin's talk from conference, "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?" I thought of this experience and emailed it to Melissa. It's her 30th birthday today. When I met her, she had just turned 24, which is what I'm about to turn in a few weeks. I love Melissa and miss her a lot. I called her today to wish her a happy birthday and it was nice to chat, we don't usually talk on the phone, but I need to call her more often. I'm so excited to see her in July.
We had Mike over for FHE tonight and I thought of this experience while we were having our lesson (we studied the talk "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?" by Lynn Robbins from General Conference). One night, a few years ago, while we were visiting you in Findlay, it was late and you were trying to get your girls off to bed. It had been a long day and we were all pretty tired. You and Paige were in the kitchen and you were trying to finish cleaning when Paige spilled a cup of juice on the floor. I expected you to lose your patience with Paige and scold her because that's what my mom would have done, and at the time that's probably how I would have reacted too. But you just took a deep breath and quietly cleaned up the juice and sent Paige off to bed. I don't know why, but that touched me a lot, because it was just a small thing but it showed a lot about who you were as a mother. And that's the kind of mother/person I wanted to be. A few months ago, my sister was over and I was trying to get Lila to bed and we were cleaning up the kitchen a little bit. Emily spilled a whole pitcher of water on the floor and I didn't even flinch, just handed her a towel and helped her clean it up. Funny enough, he said, "Wow, I thought you were going to yell at me, because that's what mom would have done!" And I said, "I know! I surprised myself!" And then I thought about you and that moment with Paige, and it was a full-circle moment for me. Thank you so much for being a wonderful example and an older sister to me. I have learned so much about being a good woman, wife, and mother from you. Happy birthday, Melissa! Hope it was a good one.
Love,
Rudi
